03/18/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

End of the world? Not on my watch!

First published at

Apparently, we were warned. The world will come to an end on Dec. 21, 2012.

We know this because a new movie points out that's when the Mayan calendar ends.

I don't know about you, but that's not much of a "warning" to me.

The Mayans had an advanced civilization but were conquered by Spain more than 300 years ago. If they were so smart, maybe they should have put that on their calendar. ("You want to go out with me in 1697? Let me check my calendar. ... Sorry, can't make it. I'm being conquered by the Spanish then. Looks like the whole year is a bust. And the rest of the millennium isn't looking too good, either.")

I mean, what makes the Mayan calendar so great? Did it predict the Boston Red Sox would win the 2004 World Series? I think not.

Did it predict that Jay Leno would leave The Tonight Show for a gig in prime time? I think not.

Did it predict that Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson would break up? No! And that was an easy one!

You know, the Mayan calendar ending in 2012 isn't necessarily a harbinger of the end of the world. Maybe the calendar maker just got tired and quit. ("2010, 2011 ... 2012! That oughta hold 'em.")

Or maybe he couldn't count any higher than 2012. ("What comes after 2012? It's either 2013 or the end of the world. Which one? ... I'll flip a coin").

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that the world isn't going to end in 2012. It is an election year, after all.

I'm just saying the world isn't going to end in 2012 just because the Mayan calendar says so.

In fact, there are lots of signs that the end is closer than we think:

• The New York Yankees won the World Series -- again.

• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt haven't adopted anybody in a while.

• The U.S. House of Representatives worked all day last Saturday.

Sesame Street is 40 years old, but Big Bird is only 6.

• Aerosmith says they're looking for a new lead singer, but Steven Tyler says he's not leaving the band.

• The Tampa Bay Buccaneers won a game -- and the loser wasn't the Washington Redskins.

• Jon Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus 8 is going to date Nadya "Octomom" Suleman. On the air.

Coincidence? You make the call.

Me? I'm going to Disney World.

Because, when it comes to experiencing the end of the world, only three things matter -- location, location, location.