02/11/2015 02:40 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

A Dirty Little Secret: What Women REALLY Want From Their Valentines

Our sweeties can treat us to flowers or jewelry or fancy dinners (or all of the above!) on Valentine's Day, and we'll be quite appreciative. But maybe they should be breaking out the rubber gloves instead. According to recent oft-shared studies, women are more likely to feel amorous when their partners indulge them with a certain thing, described in graphic detail below.

It makes sense to me. After all, who can focus on romance when this particular area hasn't been tended to?

Now, I'm not saying women should leverage their affections to obtain this, their heart's desire. It's just that for many of us (myself included, at the top of the list!), a little effort goes a long way in setting the mood for love.

So guys, take note. Go ahead and order those flowers. But then, you might want to get busy before you try to get busy...



I don't want roses,
I don't want chocolate --
as strange as that may seem.

I don't want diamonds
or rubies or pearls
in settings all agleam.

I don't want wining and dining,
not even a home-cooked meal.

Silky lingerie won't sway me,
and perfume holds little appeal.

I don't want a mani or pedi,
a facial or a massage.

A night out dancing won't do it,
nor a night in a snow-laden lodge.

No, give me a tidy white kitchen,
a bathroom that's pure and pristine,
a living room swept till it's spotless,
with the cleanest floors I've ever seen.

Lure me into a boudoir that's straightened,
on a neatly made bed I'll recline;
for your dusting has turned me to lusting
and I'll be your Valentine.

©2015 The Well-Versed Mom