THE BLOG
01/21/2015 01:27 pm ET Updated Mar 23, 2015

How I Learned to Use Pain to Leverage Unstoppability

Do you ever feel stuck, like something is blocking you from feeling empowered in life? You know that "over the moon" confidence and happiness that those you admire most seem to exude, but it eludes you... and you just don't know why?

And now you find yourself complaining about... this person giving you a hard time, or that person is so difficult. Perhaps you're just flat out exhausted every day, maybe even overwhelmed too. It's your job, or your body, or your health, or your spouse, or your children, or the weather, or politics, or definitely it's... that person.

You feel disempowered, but don't know what to do and the world of blaming and reasons holds you back every step of the way.

Shift these feelings. Now. Because you say so.

These negative thoughts are not who you are. You are powerful. You are unstoppable. You are a force of nature and there is nothing you cannot do.

I so get it. You don't know how to "just" turn off this negative way of thinking. If you did, you would've by now, right?

Find your leverage.

What is your leverage, you say? What is the force that can shift your whole life?

Your pain spot.

That moment in life that hit you hard. Hurt you. Deeply. Go there. Yes, go there and get inside the pain that you felt and excavate the force that rose up from within you in those moments.

What decisions did you make in those moments? What did you swear you'd never allow again? What did you declare you'd commit to, make happen, no matter what?

Feel the force of strength and unstoppability you gained from that experience. Feel the many gifts that resulted from the decisions you made in that moment.

I know. This world we live in hardly endorses feeling pain. Nor do I recommend feeling pain to indulge.

But your life did shift from the lessons those moments offered you.

Hands down, your power lives inside your pain spot.

You will, however have to completely drop the "poor me" victim story to tap into your full expression of personal power.

You can't own your power and be victim too.

Let me give you an example:

Life offered me a stark moment of ginormous leverage when I had no family support and nowhere to go with my newborn son.

SNAP! Oh, yes, creative genius and my greatest leverage was born in those moments.

That moment gifted me with a level of tenacity and leverage I challenge you is unmatched.

I cornered the market on creative genius at that moment in my life.

Heck, yeah!

I learned of the foster care system and very willingly placed my son in a foster home for the first four months of his life.

It was a choice. My only choice. And it was the most amazing choice that was better than no choice at all.

I moved in with a friend and her family.

I went back to work one week after I gave birth.

Yes. I had no car.

Yes. My 18- and 19-year-old friends picked me up every day and drove me to visit my son and then brought me to my waitressing job.

Against the doctors orders, you say? Dangerous to my health? C'mon?

I could spit nails. Spit nails? Frig, I could make those nails and spit them out.

My pain spot?

Standing at the end of the hospital corridor watching Tina Marconi, a state-assigned Department of Children and Youth Services worker, carry my son out of the hospital.

(Imagine that for a moment before flowing into the next sentence.)

Of course I remember her name.

Unstoppable. I became literally. Unstoppable.

Life offers each of us moments to step into our power or to be a victim. There is no in between.

Every single moment we get to choose.

In those moments I got to choose stepping into my power or holding a story of victim.

In your life, you get to choose your power and full self-expression, or you get to choose a story of victim and limitation.

And the coolest thing? You get to choose newly every single moment, every single day.

Drawing from your pain spot as a force of leverage and transformation is not something you work towards or procrastinate on. Drawing from your leverage is something you do now. In this precise moment you know you have a choice.

You choose. You drop the limiting stories that impede you and you choose. Now.

You drop the limiting stories and you tap into the force that lives in you that is utterly unstoppable.

Tap off that force of strength and character that rose up within you, when you said "never again."

As one of my lifelong teachers Tony Robbins taught me, "It is in moment of decision that your destiny is shaped."

I currently work with clients to guide them to excavate and strengthen their personal power, increase their productivity, higher income levels, success and happiness, by leveraging their health, vitality and energy as their greatest resource for creating a life they love in all areas of life.