12/28/2012 01:47 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Why We Need Our Guns (CHART)

As NRA lobbyist Wayne LaPierre proved during his press conference last week, some Americans believe the only solution to gun crime is more guns. It's well known that gun sales soar in the wake of both violence and Democrats winning elections, as fears of stronger regulations send casual and serious gun enthusiasts racing to the sporting goods store.

And why not? We're Americans, dammit, and we've got exactly two rights: 1) the right to bear arms, and 2) the right to whatever the hell else we want.

Still don't understand why Americans really need their guns? Well, first of all, you're probably a French Communist, and second of all, there are LOTS of reasons... and they're all in this chart below: