THE BLOG
11/14/2014 06:27 pm ET Updated Jan 14, 2015

The Affair

Am I the only one that watches a movie or TV show and take on the mantle of reflected emotions -- as if it is happening to me!!

My poor husband has endured me being "huffy" with him after the actions of others on the screen!!

My latest emotion by surrogate -- is for a woman that has not yet found out that her husband is cheating on her. The Affair starring the wonderful English actress Ruth Wilson, has me so mad at the husband that I find myself not only being angry with his character but also my husband, and questioning the casual everyday life excuses handed out by the television husband and thinking "would my husband do that?" It seems so easy.

The reality is that I trust my husband completely, but there is an almost primal fear that I could be wrong bubbling far below the surface. What if it really is as easy as depicted on the screen? How many innocent men have been accused wrongly after a wife watching an on screen affair? Worse, how many men do cheat on their wives blithely while still saying "I love my wife?"

It begs the question "what is love?" To me, love is more than a word or expression, but a decision, a commitment to love.

If love is JUST a feeling, then no wonder we could change with the ease of a feeling. Today it's an in love day -- tomorrow it's not in love day?

I understand that one can decide to no longer be with someone and get a divorce, but to cheat -- just not sporting! It seems to me to be a coward's way out.

Now that I think more, and The Affair aired yesterday, that small niggling fear has retreated. I trust that my husband is a man of integrity and not the man on the screen. Perhaps most comforting is that I know with certainty that I would not cheat, brings me the clear thinking to know that he wouldn't either. Perhaps some of our worst fears are also about what we are afraid of in ourselves. Glad that my fear is just the niggling feeling after the show. An itch I will never scratch.