I was lost... but now I am found -- Hallelujah!
Can you relate to losing yourself? Maybe you are still working on finding yourself. Lol!
In my previous post, "10 Practices of a Great Coach and Why I Broke Up With Mine," I shared how I got out of alignment and completely disconnected from my true self by following the lead of a coach who didn't really take the time to understand my unique genius and vision.
In this post I am going to share why I had to travel all the way around the world to find myself again.
To pick up the story where we left off. I was so lost. I invested the most time, money and energy into a coach and the development of a product as I ever had, but guess what?
I wasn't feeling it!
My coach lived 8,000 miles away and part of her VIP coaching package was to spend a week with her and make a ton of money while working under her guidance. Well, I did everything she told me to for months on end leading up to the trip. I worked so hard and I completely put on the back burner my core values. Ugh! And I NEVER do that!
I postponed self-care, exercise and spiritual practice. I worked nights and weekends getting everything done for the big ass launch that was coming while with my coach.
I pushed everything to the limit to get out the door to travel 16 hours and 8,000 miles away! I couldn't imagine there was anything more I could have done to ensure my success. So I arrived ready to go, to spend this week with my coach and make some really BIG money! We pushed "go" on the launch and waited. Now don't get me wrong, I would be lying to say nothing happened.
My ads and opt-ins were working, but my offering wasn't resonating. Why? I didn't know why, so I asked my coach. She replied telling me to test more. So I tested and tested and tested until it was clear that something was off. My offer wasn't even resonating with me, so how could I expect to attract my ideal customer? When I tell you I was freaked out, that is an understatement.
I sacrificed so much of myself to be here on the other side of the world at this moment and then to fail? I just couldn't understand why. I did everything right, didn't I? Well, I certainly followed her model perfectly, but I hadn't followed my model of success perfectly.
You see, I have always been someone who's definition of success was an integrated holistic definition. My belief of success encompasses the mind, body and soul. Her model of success was designed for her and was a one-size-fits-all model.
Well as you know, I never have been able to be categorized. This is one of the things I love about myself and my brand. I am unique. But what had I done? I was disloyal to my own belief system, because I was seduced by making a lot more money! I was completely out of alignment.
My program not working was a perfect reflection of that misalignment. And as I shared in the previous story, I realized after spending a week with my coach that I wanted to break up. She didn't honor my greatness and really see me, the way I needed to be seen. And I wasn't honoring myself by standing up for what I know is true about me and the way I want to do business.
I still had a day left before traveling home and I started to fill with anxiety... now 10 years ago anxiety was a common thing when I was living a status quo life with no spirituality, but not these days! I thought I had kicked anxiety to the curb for good! But when it crept back in on that fateful day, I knew I was really out of whack!
Here I had traveled all the way around the world to one of the most desired beach vacation destinations and I hadn't even walked five blocks down to the beach and dipped my toes in the water! I'd been so busy with my head down in go-go-go-make-money mode, I'd almost completely missed out on the experience of just being there.
What the heck? I was seriously off.
Luckily, I coached myself to get out of the hotel room, to pull myself out of my pity fest and get my butt into nature. Nature has always been the easiest way for me to reconnect to myself and become centered again. I put on my favorite Deepak Chopra meditation series and began to walk along the ocean waves.
I listened to the words... I listened to my intuition... I prayed for insight about why my alignment was off... And I received the answer.
What went wrong was three-fold.
#1. I forgot that soulful and spiritual practices are what feeds my soul and reminds me of my purpose. I treated them with disrespect by thinking I could not prioritize them and still reap the benefits of a soulful connection.
#2. I forgot that I am a killer businesswoman and a killer spiritual teacher and that those two identities are not separate, but instead one in the same. I teach business alchemy... I teach soulful business... I teach high-level online business strategy infused with sustainable daily practices to create a thriving business on your own terms. I had abandoned my spiritual teachings, because I was told I couldn't make money with them.
#3. I focused on making money at the expense of being my whole self. I wanted to teach how to combine making money while creating meaning and how not to be a "sell out" and instead I sold out. I betrayed myself and I was paying for it.
But never again! My own betrayal was the best lesson I ever had. I was lost, but I found myself 8,000 miles away from home. It was time to practice what I preach!
Stay tuned for my next post, "How Being Broke Can Feel Richer Than Ever" where I will share the aftermath of my 8,000 mile trip and what I did to become stronger than ever!
In the meantime... I am super excited about my latest free offering -- The Super Fly Collection: 19 FREE Guides, Meditations & Action Sheets from the Best Soulful Entrepreneurs in the Biz. If you want to snag it get it here and come hang with me at my place: www.CeliaWardWallace.com.