11/21/2014 05:14 pm ET Updated Jan 21, 2015

Love Yourself Like Willow and Jaden Love Willow and Jaden

You know the adage.

Love yourself like Kanye loves Kanye.

It's tremendous advice and impossible to sustain. You can wake up, all loving yourself like Kanye love Kanye and even spend the entire morning that way. But then the mail comes and Save The Children is looking for a few bucks. So you give a heavy sigh because you just donated to three different versions of Save The Children and no matter what you do, you simply cannot save all the children.

Heck, for all you know, you're not even saving your own children who surely have a calcium deficiency because milk is now poison. Everyone is supposed to just get their calcium from spinach and God knows that isn't going to happen.

And suddenly there's a chip in your Kanye-like invincibility and it's calcium's fault.

But you know what? We'll survive it.

Different, though, when it comes to our kids. We want to shield them from injustice and sadness and whatnot. We want achievement. We want them to have fulfilling friendships, intellectual fluency and natural athleticism. We want them to love themselves like Kanye love Kanye, but without the adult overtones.

If only there were someone more age appropriate!

Behold Jaden and Willow Smith, stars of the most hilarious and most lampooned article of the week.

I won't go into the details because you already know them. That is, if you haven't been too busy reading quantum physics or your own novels because every other novel on earth is trash.

If you did happen to miss the show, swing by Google and you'll find all the parodies and analysis that you'll ever need. Go down the rabbit hole into the comment sections. It's bringing out the best kind of snark in people. There's no vitriol like you'll find in the Why Fat People And Children Shouldn't Be Allowed On Airplanes articles. Just a national collective WTF. And the occasional brave 13-year-old who writes, I think they're kind of cool.

You know what kids? Love yourselves like Willow and Jaden love Willow and Jaden. You deserve it. You deserve all the insanity and enthusiasm and inspiration of youth. Life will get complicated and soon enough you'll have to pay for your own car insurance.

But for now? Ride that wave. It's freaking beautiful.

But stay in school. All their rants on the ineptitude of education are madness. Especially given Jaden's propensity to spout off about me and Willow.