05/12/2008 06:30 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

A Modest Proposal

The Jews, kicked from pillar to post for two thousand years, have managed, as part of their eternal eviction, to get something right. At Christmastime, when the rest of us are preaching Good Cheer, and watching It's a Wonderful Life these outcasts gather on the dining room floor and gamble.

The game they play is called "dreidl." Now, a "dreidl" is a top with four sides. And each of the sides has a letter, and each letter, landing uppermost, tells the spinner the reward or penalty to which he is now subject.

What about if, in our ongoing contest of seemingly irreconcilable differences, instead of our interminable "legislative process," each side merely elected a Champion, and they "spun the dreidl?" Imagine: Four sides, for example: Abortion for All; Abortion for None; and, as two sides would be left over, Kiss the Hostess, and Imitate a Squirrel. Thus, that process productive of nothing but rancor would be recast as a parlor game. And everybody loves a parlor game. Remember "Post Office?!"

Your President, Charles H.P. Smith