THE BLOG
11/17/2008 05:12 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

McCain-Palin: Bullwinklenomics

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Bullwinkleconomics: McCain / Palin : The New Boris and Natasha

"Hey, America, the economy is tanking yet again. Watch me pull a new economic rescue plan out of my hat..."

"Again, but that trick never works..."

Yes, we've entered the era of Bullwinkleconomics.

I talk to hundreds of people on the phone each and every week as my job as a talk show host, and a variety of people in my "real" life. And one thing has come to the surface, there's not one person that has heard a plan they really believe in, a solution they think is really going to work, and in all the rhetoric all anyone wants is specifics and actual ways to get out of this mess.

Obama is trying to lay out a plan, but he's not in control of either of the Houses, he isn't President (yet, hopefully) and he has a campaign to win. I think everyone agrees this problem is gargantuan and will take time, experts and real compromise and sacrifice.

Everyone believes that except John McCain and Sarah Palin.

How can they? Each week they prove that their mantra of "Country First" simply means Country For Irresponsible Republicans Swindling Taxpayers. This is the man and the campaign that has gone from saying the fundamentals of the economy are strong to suspending itself to fix the fundamentally strong economy. This is the man that thinks keeping taxes on the rich low, continuing the unfair policies on the middle class, giving tax breaks to oil companies and all he can do is scream about pork barrel spending, which accounts for less than one half of one percent of our budget. He is obsessed with minutia at a time when we're under a massive attack.

And his answer? Freeze spending on your programs, our programs, everything except Defense spending. Again, another trick out of a hat that never works. Why? Because Defense Spending is HALF the problem. It needs to be cut by half, period. Most of the waste in government is in defense spending, and not the spending on the troops, or veterans affairs or any of that, the huge millions and billions of dollars that are filling the pockets of John McCain's unregulated friends known as Defense Contractors. People and organizations like Blackwater suck up billions and McCain remains quiet. But he wants to freeze spending on Education, Health Care and everything else, and then CUT, but for war, MORE.

It's that thinking that is killing us. No more money for WAR. Time to invest in peace.

John McCain and Sarah Palin are the Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale of this election obviously taking orders from Fearless Leader Karl Rove or George W. Bush. In fact, one of Boris' main missions was to eliminate television from the United States because Fearless Leader could seize power. Sounds like their attack on the media. Boris loves nefarious deeds, criminal acts, which explains his party affiliation. Boris was a member of the Local 12 of Villains, Thieves and Scoundrels Union. Sounds like the current Republican Party to me. And as for Natasha Palin, or wait, Sarah, well, her catchphrase was "darlink..." and we now have a winking "you betcha" who can't put a "g" on the end of any word it would seem.

See, Boris and Natasha.

All they can do at their campaigns is come up with new ideas to get Moose and Squirrel (sorry Biden, you're the squirrel but neither of you are safe since Sarah is a hunter). Bitter, ridiculous statements and comments that incite hatred and even violence on the campaign trail, racism at its worst form, and economic enslavement. Because as they attack Moose and Squirrel, they see us, you, I, people that want change, that want an end to the criminal neoconservative regime that McCain has condoned 90% of the time...well, we're accessories, cohorts and we don't count, either. The military counts, they get a blank check. We don't, we get spending freezes.

These two have become caricatures of politicians, Boris and Natasha, and they are using Bullwinklenomics to try and save a nation, floating from bad idea to bad idea with out any real clue where to go, what to do, how to do it, or to whom to turn. But hey, Natasha was kinda hot, right? So is Sarah according to heterosexual men. As a gay man, I'll tell you, she's a mess. But that's for another story.

In 18 days America can vote for a President or a mean old character from an old cartoon and his cohort who can see Russia from her house (if Natasha never said that during Bullwinkle, she should have). Boris and Natasha, you are always foiled. As you run around behind by double digits saying "we've got them just where we want them" you sound like Boris after another one of his failed plots, and him trying to tell Natasha that don't worry, this is going exactly to plan even in the face of imminent defeat.

But make no mistake, Obama and Biden are no Bullwinkle and Rocky. Obama is more of a Mr. Peabody and Biden Sherman, observing history, realizing the importance of it, and using critical thinking and a bit of luck to save the day. They use the ideals of America, our history, with a strong intellectualism and sense of politics to formulate a future. Professorial? Yes, but Peabody and Sherman taught us a lot, just like those Schoolhouse Rock people. Yes, I'm singing Conjunction Junction right now.

So Natasha, go back to home in the North, Boris, realize that all of your evil plots are being foiled and go retire with the White Witch exiled from Narnia to the land of beer brewing.

America is a wonderful story. It's time we put it back on the track of nonfiction and remove it from the absurd cartoon world it has entered...up is down, white is black, status quo and regression are progress and youth and progression and education are seen as elite. Not even Jay Ward (Bullwinkle creator) could have imagined such a ridiculous scenario.

Boris Badenov was always foiled by Moose and Squirrel, It's why he hated them. It's time Obama, Biden and the U.S. people foil Fearless Leader's plot. Because if we let them at it again, we'll all be Rockys, looking toward's DC and shaking our heads saying...

"Again, but that trick NEVER works..."

Their tricks have never worked. We now see that as we are in economic decline and are no longer the world's super power (what, did no one tell you, by the numbers China is #1 now). Their tricks never work.

They won't work November 4th. Show them that no matter what Boris and Natasha pull out of Fearless Leader's bag of lies and tricks, we know now that trick never works, not any more.

Foiled. That should describe November 4, 2008. Foiled. A continued coup of our nation, a plot to keep Americans dumb and poor is over, foiled.

Because Barack is Bullwinkle in one sense. We can trust there's nothing up his sleeves, and he's ready to roll them up and get to work instead of just pay lip service to the nation.