07/26/2013 03:52 pm ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

Getting Past Perfection


A client of mine told me the most amazing thing. He said, "I know I am not perfect, but I know that I am perfect for someone." To this I say, "Amen!"

Too many times in my matchmaking business I meet people who are not only striving for perfection in themselves but looking for perfection in their soul mate. I have news for everyone out there: No one is perfect. Don't get me wrong: I believe that everyone should strive to be the best person they can be and always put their best self forward for others to see, but we all must realize that we are only human. We all have our good days and our bad. I want everyone to take a moment today and give some thought to how much they ask of themselves and, even more importantly, what they ask of those around them.

What would happen if we started letting the little things that bother us go? What if we saw a slight imperfection in that cute person who caught our eye and we overlooked it? Don't discount someone right away because their hair looks messy. I know that you have had a bad hair day before. You know what they say: Don't judge a book by its cover. Maybe that guy who doesn't look like a GQ model has a heart of gold and will always treat you with love and respect.

If we all start cutting ourselves and those around us some slack, we may just find that life can be much more enjoyable. And for those of you out there who are single, I truly believe that if you stop looking for the "perfect" person to date and simply open yourselves up to people who may not take your breath away and knock you off your feet, you will be surprised by how many amazing single people are out there.

For many of us, the hardest lesson to learn is to stop putting pressure on ourselves. So many of us are striving for perfection in our work, our dating lives, our wardrobe, our homes, our cars, etc. What if we just relaxed a little bit? Recently I was having an insane day and didn't have time to run home and get dressed up in my usual "meeting attire." I actually showed up in a polo shirt and shorts apologizing for looking a mess. My new client's response? "A mess? You look more relaxed and adorable than I have ever seen you! You should host one of your events in an outfit like this instead of one of your designer outfits. It makes you more likable and human." Wow. I didn't know I wasn't likable and human. But it made me realize that maybe getting dressed to the nines all the time isn't letting everyone know who I really am. And who I really am is not someone perfect. I'm just Charlie, the guy who, as a matchmaker, is simply trying to help people find love and happiness.

Have fun today. If you see little imperfections in yourself and others, try to let them go. Just be yourself. Who knows? Maybe someone will think that you are perfect for them.

Your favorite matchmaker,