One of my clients told me recently that she went out on a date and it didn't go so well. Her date was nice and polite, but she simply didn't feel a "spark" She was not feeling it with him. Guess what? They are still dating. Want to know why? Mr. No Spark sent her a text an hour after that first date to make sure she got home safely. That was it! He simply won her over by being kind and considerate. And he has kept on winning her over for the last month by doing little things to keep impressing her. When she was a little under the weather, he sent flowers and called to check in on her once a day.
On the other hand, I have another client who blew it on the first date. The first thing out of his mouth was, "Wow, you look just like my ex!" Things went downhill from there. He went on to ask questions and then say, "Well, this is what my ex would have done in that situation." I have sat down with him to explain that you never talk about your ex on the first date. Under no circumstance does someone want to be compared with your ex right off the bat. When you constantly refer to your ex, you give off the vibe that you are not over them and ready to move on. There will come a time to discuss past relationships, but not a first date.
So there you have it. The two golden rules to follow to get date number 2:
- Text them an hour after your date to make sure they got home safely.
- Never, ever talk about or ask about previous relationships on a first date.
This may be simplifying things, but these are two great examples of what to do and what not to do. Dating is not an exact science. A lot of it has to do attraction, but if you find yourself failing to get date number 2, maybe you have to start doing things differently. If you would like help figuring it out, do not hesitate to reach out to me.
Your friendly neighborhood matchmaker,