Dear Liz Lemon,
First of all, congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! I know they're "no big whoop," but a TV wedding is quite the sweeps stunt. I wish you all the best and I know you really haven't heard from me since Valentine's Day, but I thought I should reach out before your big day.
Our time together is coming to an end. It's been seven wonderful years (for the most part, there was that time in year five and six where we really weren't vibing) and I just have to get this off my chest. Is Criss really right for you? Yes, he's been around for almost two years now and he's devilishly handsome and I'm sure your DNA would mix very well and produce a pretty child, but it just doesn't feel right. You're my single friend who would rather have a guy buy her mozzarella sticks than a drink.
I'm happy you're getting a nice ending (I hope), and I suppose what's making this really difficult to grasp is the fact that things are changing. After the wedding, you won't be there for me on Thursday nights anymore.
You should be happy, you deserve to be happy as you go off into the great TV sunset, I just can't help but feel like this is all wrong. It's too soon. Perhaps if we had seen more of your dynamic with Criss it would be easier to handle. Yes, you're a TV character and this is all fiction, but I still care.
Does Criss eat night cheese with you? Has he picked up some of your oh-so-delightful sayings and added them to his lexicon? These are very serious questions that I want answers to, but I'm afraid I won't get them before your wedding.
I value you, Liz Lemon, arguably more than I should a TV character. I'm probably more conflicted about your wedding than I would be for some real-life friends.
You've been on this quest for happiness for the last seven years and in my mind you'd just continue on making "TGS," eating Cheesy Blasters and handling actor disasters week after week.
Alas, things change, and while I'm still unsure about this wedding -- what snacks should I bring? -- I'm still your No. 1 fan.
All my best,
PS: Please ignore if you don't actually get married!
Liz Lemon's wedding airs on "30 Rock" on Thursday, November 29 at 8 p.m. ET on NBC.