Fear and judgment, have you seen them? They are two twin brothers who are so cunning and sly they keep us from attaining our dreams, living in love, getting to know and like ourselves and others. They are the guys looking to rumble peace and happiness but their own insecurities have them shaking in their boots. We have all seen these two bullies and have invited them in for dinner, most times over staying their welcome. They invade lives, take over spirits and crush dreams. It is about time that we shatter their illusion and walk hand in hand into our sunset with peace and happiness!
We are all guilty of judging others. Once we can identify the moment we are being judgmental, we then have a choice to stop or to continue. Acknowledgement: the first step. Training ourselves to see with our hearts rather than with our eyes takes time. Old Habits die hard. We are judged from the minute we are born with Apgar scores; as we grow by hitting milestones; in school; during interviews; and on dates. We are judged silently dozens of times throughout the course of a day on our appearance, our actions and our words. By allowing ourselves to fall victim to judgment we are voicing negativity, harboring negative feelings, emitting negative vibes, and closing our hearts.
A few years ago I started calling people out on their comments and actions of passive aggressive judgment. This was very hard for me. Being a typical non-confrontational Pisces, I wanted nothing to do with taking sides, voicing a passionate opinion and sometimes standing alone. What I was taught by addressing judgment in the face was: 1. It backed off. 2. The perpetrator themselves acknowledged their behavior. 3. They disappeared from my life altogether. I am still working on this. I believe many people take my silence as stupidity, my laughter for lunacy and my walking away as weak. I am a peaceful person. Typically things roll off my shoulders and I carry on with MY business. I don't let people's opinions of me, what I do, and my choices, affect me mentally or emotionally. I try to have empathy and compassion for everyone I meet, not knowing their journey. Since having Michael, judgment has come knocking, rearing his ugly head. My every move being watched. "What is she doing?" "What isn't she doing?" "Why this?" "why that?" My goal is to raise my son in an environment where people see him the way Ryan and I see him -- as Michael. Not the boy, son, kid with Down syndrome. I continue to build Michael's circle -- his team of family and friends with people from our lives who are courageous enough to be themselves! People who care about how things are rather than how they appear; for appearances can be deceiving. We are only hurting ourselves believing and trusting that perception is reality. We should try to give our children and ourselves something more interesting to talk about than other people. Our own lives should be more important than everyone else's.
Social media is really a terrific tool for communicating, marketing and learning. I love and use Facebook daily, to talk to friends, to have a voice and to learn from others through views, videos, and articles. But many people do not use Facebook the way it was intended. We all know "silent stalkers." They are our friends and family. They are the people that you would never know had an account if it weren't for their picture on your friends list. They do not post, comment, message, etc. They merely have an account to scroll through other people's lives for entertainment; to judge (probably unconsciously). They hide behind wanting their privacy when if it was privacy they wanted they ould not be on Facebook. We have all scrolled pages... yes! But how healthy can this be? "Silent stalkers" are doing themselves an injustice because they may get excitement from judging another's life but what they are truly doing is measuring their own life to another's; judging themselves. Facebook is the new reality TV, allowing us to become absorbed by someone else's life that our own becomes meaningless. Doesn't it sound crazy? It is crazy and very sad.
I believe it is easy for us to get swept away by another's life because living our own sometimes is too scary. All of the decisions, the dreams to be chased, the people we encounter. There are so many opportunities for us to be judged, to be let down, and disappointed. It is easier to watch someone else's life unfold than to face fear and live our own. We will act, do, and become someone else to fit into another's mold. Whose life is this? We allow the fear of judgment to control our choices. Being afraid is okay. Letting is paralyze us is not. There will always be a sense of fear, nervous excitement while treading into new, unknown areas of life. This is natural. It means we are alive. We are growing.
My parents and my great grandmother always taught me not to judge a book by its cover; to mind my own business; if I didn't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all and most importantly, to treat others the way you would want to be treated. There is a universal oneness in all my messages and my posts all come from the same place and that is living a life of love. Being love itself. Feel it, Become It, Spread it!
Let It All Go!
We all are different - embrace it!
We all make mistakes - learn from it!
We all have a voice - use it (kindly)!
We all are afraid! - Get over it!