THE BLOG
01/12/2017 01:42 pm ET Updated Jan 13, 2018

Why aren't things in your life changing?

A common complaint I hear from my clients is something along the lines of, "I am doing all this work on myself and I feel different inside but things in my life are not changing." They feel that they have shifted inside but the outside world is not matching up. This is not a cause for alarm; in fact it's quite normal.

Perhaps you've reframed a limiting belief, healed an emotional issue or let go of a behavior pattern that wasn't serving you and you are wondering when you are going to reap the rewards of all your transformation. Where is the money, job, body or relationship you want? If you feel that your external world is not (yet) reflective of the "new you," please do not interpret it as feedback that you aren't doing enough and allow this to discourage you.

For years I dealt with health issues and doubted whether I was really doing the internal work "right" because my body wasn't shifting. When I began to understand that physical world reality (and our bodies are part of the physical world) is very dense, unlike our emotional, mental or spiritual world where things can change in more fluid and immediate ways, I was able to be more patient. I had faith in my internal progress and allowed the way I was relating to my health to be more important than what my body was doing. And then eventually as time passed, my physical body began to catch up with the internal shifts I was making.

So the next time you are frustrated because your external world does not feel reflective of your internal world, remember that physical world reality is often the last thing to change. Chuck your desire for instant gratification and your obsession with results. Measure your progress by the differences you feel inside rather than by what is different on the outside.

Another thing to keep in mind is that often when have a big "aha" so much to the extent that we feel transformed, the Universe will bring us a situation that feels very similar to past experiences. Often people get frustrated and think, "This again? I thought I learned this already!" That may be accurate; you may have learned the lesson and now the Universe is bringing you an amazing opportunity to practice the learning so that you can fully integrate it. For instance, if you tended to attract unavailable people romantically and you did the work to get crystal clear that you are no longer interested in dating unavailable people, you may discover that an attractive yet unavailable somebody comes into your life again. This does not mean you haven't healed! It is a chance for you to say "no" to that person so that you can truly experience and integrate the lesson.

If your internal reality (meaning your thoughts, feelings and relationship with yourself) is transforming so that you are experiencing more love, compassion, peace and acceptance, you're doing great. Keep going!! Let your internal world be the measure of your progress and have patience while the external one catches up.

Fondly,
Christine