Why We Don't Always Get What We Want

03/13/2014 07:24 pm ET Updated May 12, 2014

What I've learned through the years of coaching people through what I call Expectation Hangovers is that they hit us where we are most vulnerable. We tend to experience repeat disappointment in our most tender areas. Ouch.

This isn't because the Universe is mean and wants to punish us. It's because we are stubborn and often it takes getting hit where it hurts the most to wake up. Most people don't come to me for help because everything in their life is going great. They come because their Expectation Hangover has brought them to their knees and they are finally open to surrender (a key lesson we are all here to learn).

Surrender is one of those spiritually sexy words that is a pain in the you-know-what to practice when we are not getting what we want.

We don't like it when the universe seems to miss the memo on how we think things should be - in fact it's the very thing that challenges our faith the most. But the truth is the Universe doesn't miss anything. Your Higher Power knows exactly how to get your attention so you go in and go up rather than looking to any external source for happiness, love or worthiness.

I am not saying that if you "shouldn't" long for love or a career that lights your fire. Those things are awesome. I'm also not saying that you're supposed to just sit around in surrender and never take action in your life. What I am saying is that the universe may be giving you an advanced course in surrender right now to deepen your own personal connection to whatever you call your Higher Power.

Everything you desire is within you. It's like the big cosmic joke. God places the things we most desire closest to us because it's the last place we look! Whatever you call your Higher Power, wants you to be happy, feel loved, and know you are worthy and deserving no matter what. This is one of those soul lessons we often learn the hard way but it's so worth it.

My encouragement to you if you feel like you keep experiencing heartache and disappointment, is to go in and go up. Surrender. Make this a time to deepen your spiritual connection and find the truest source of Love and Meaning there is.

Much love and many blessings,