02/05/2013 11:00 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

'Smash' Premiere Recap: 87 Eye Rolls From Season 2, Episodes 1 And 2

smash recap

Previously on "Smash": "Let me be your star!" Scarves. "I'm in tech." Ellis. "He's taking advantage of her." "He's a TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING!" "The incomparable Rebecca Duvall." "You're fired, is what you are, Ellis." "Where's Karen Cartwright?" "You're a star." This "Smash" hit piece.

Presented in chronological order and without commentary, the most absurd moments from Season 2, Episode 1, "On Broadway" ...

1. Title card: "On Broadway."
2. The coat on Eileen's boyfriend.
3. Karen's brownstone.
4. Crumpling up Dev's note.
5. Ivy throwing out her nondescript pill bottles.
6. Ivy and Karen pressing the elevator button at the same time, but not realizing they're standing next to each other until that very moment.
7. "... in Boston."
8. "If I were you, I'd keep an eye on my back ... make sure there's no target on it."
9. "I hope you're ready; it all starts now."
10. "I just read Tom's face.'
11. "I don't need some critic getting in my head."
12. "Good juju."
13. Derek's got a lot of "projects."
14. "Maybe I do."
15. "The speech you gave when you won your first one ..."
16. "This is going to be you in six months."
17. Julia isn't wearing a scarf.
18. Text message: Time to move forward with the plan.
19. Text message: Done.
20. "Seems like old times."
21. Julia's advice face.
22. Jimmy's lack of sideburns.
23. Frank's conspicuous goodbye with another woman.
24. "Is this some sort of joke?"
25. "Shows are like families; everyone knows everything."
26. The nonplussed look on Eileen's boyfriend's face.
27. "I'm your muse, that's what we do."
28. Ivy walking in as Derek and Karen almost kiss.
29. "You're letting me go."
30. "Are you kidding me with this?"
31. "Can I quote you on that?"
32. "But even you can't hate me as much as I hate myself for what I did."
33. That dramatic music cue.
34. "My marriage is over."
35. No mention of Leo.
36. "Everything that I've done has turned out so wrong."
37. Still not wearing a scarf.
38. "'Bombshell' is under investigation ..."
39. "Single at this age. Who'd want me?" "Anyone in their right mind."
40. "Plus, I'd get to see Leo more."
41. Casting director eye rolls Ivy.
42. Ivy singing "Don't Dream It's Over."
43. Julia's reading-bad-reviews face.
44. "This is my real life."
45. "Don't I know you?" "I don't think ..." "Karen Cartwright."
46. "You need to hear something."
47. Karen's Marvin Berry face.

... and Season 2, Episode 2, "The Fallout."

48. "He's ... complicated."
49. "Tout suite!"
50. "She had a college thing with Leo."
51. Derek's sexual harassment face.
52. "I met Leo in Riverside Park."
53. "Now, Frank is telling people."
54. "We can't abandon 'Bombshell' in its hour of need."
55. "I just came from a Clearasil audition."
56. "Maybe if you stopped by and got to know Jimmy a little better, he'd let his guard down."
57. "I know you guys are super successful now, but did you ever feel like giving up?"
58. Harvey Fierstein.
59. "Eileen Rand, running around with a drug lord."
60. "We're giving a speech!"
61. "'Bombshell' needs ambassadors."
62. Ivy and Karen performing The Eurythmics's "Would I Lie To You?" as if it were a Robert Palmer video.
63. Cheyenne Jackson reference.
64. "I can't say no to the entire American Theater Wing."
65. Tom lying about this whole American Theater Wing thing.
66. Tom saying "beatific."
67. "Maybe they're writing the next 'Rent.'"
68. "She's just out of a three-year relationship."
69. "You asked Tom ... Levitt."
70. Julia's humiliated face.
71. "I got caught in a moment."
72. "Word on the street is ..."
73. "There he is in the red flannel."
74. "I'll admit that's worth getting on the G train for."
75. "I hate to rock your world, I used to live in Brooklyn."
76. "My first apartment was in Fort Greene."
77. "We need some more brew."
78. "I was a lot of things, Derek."
79. "Oh, I bet you do."
80. Karen's seduction moves.
81. "I don't need your help. I write for myself."
82. Eileen going into business with her ex-husband.
83. "You cost us our one shot with a real Broadway actor," said about Karen.
84. Karen is wearing a scarf.
85. "Can I say something? It's time to retire the scarves."
86. Julia and Tom laughing about the scarves.
87. "What did Ivy want?" "Nothing."

"Smash" airs on Tuesdays at 10 p.m. EST on NBC.

Smash Season 2