05/21/2013 03:18 pm ET Updated Jul 21, 2013

Do You Think I'm Sexy?

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I find the whole concept of being "sexy" embarrassing and confusing. ~ Emma Watson

If Hollywood stars are confused and uncomfortable about what the definition of "sexy" really means, what is the average woman supposed to do?

Maybe we can all learn something from Emma Watson's belief that "the less you reveal the more people will wonder." In this age of pencil-thin Victoria's Secret models, women are being made to feel that if you are anything bigger than a size 0, you are not considered sexy and therefore undesirable.

What does the word "sexy" mean to you?

After having asked this question to many women, I am convinced that although every woman has their own opinion, there is still a quiet inner voice whispering, what if I am not sexy enough?

Sexy can be defined by many different criteria. Having a sense of humor and a brilliant wit is what some consider to be the winning recipe. Others will say that being confident and powerful in the business world is a real turn on. Yes, there are even those that admit that they do think their size "small" and triple cup size is what makes them beautiful.

All this can leave your identity spiraling in a confusion of marketing media ads depicting large doe-like eyes staring at you from a hollowed face.

"Is the willowy blonde judging me as she seemingly watches you from the cover of Cosmopolitan?" you wonder as you load your groceries of mixed greens, vegetables and nuts onto the grocery counter.

Okay, now I am going to throw another ingredient into this cauldron of confusion.

What happens to your sense of "sexy" after being diagnosed with an illness?

What happens is that everything you thought you had figured out about what made you sexy up until now, vanishes in the length of time it takes for your brain to absorb the doctor's words.

The identity you have worked so hard to create is suddenly no longer valid.

Your fit, toned body might now begin to gain weight due to the inability to exercise like you once did. Fatigue might make it impossible for you to be as active as you had once been before a life altering diagnosis.

Rest assured, you have not been doomed to a life of feeling sexless and as desirable as a used condom.

I think "sexy" is all about being confident in who you are, knowing that you are happy just the way you are. Obstacles in life can give you a deeper understanding of yourself and what it is that you want out of life.

There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it.

This statement is free and clear of any size requirements, physical ability, hair color, or age.

If we lived in a time before the advent of film, TV, newspapers and radio, we would have probably been able to feel good about ourselves just by determining if we were happy with ourself.

As women age and fine lines start to appear, we are once again forced to test our beliefs in what we think makes us "sexy." Some might go running to the nearest botox clinic, others get out their juicer and convince themselves they love having veggie juice for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Others even decide to proudly embrace their new lines as badges of honor.

However you choose to embrace your ageless sexy, there are no losers.

Every woman's sense of sexy is as unique as their fingerprint.

Sexy starts with being happy. Sexy thrives by not letting anyone else tell you what you should be. Sexy never ends when you no longer feel the need to figure it out and just be it.