No seriously, like, as a favor. As if I had asked you to get a "sandwich for me." I'm just always super tired on Tuesdays.
In the November 2010 elections, which occurred sometime around November of 2010, I entered a contest with some members of my production company in an attempt to GOTV. I know--I too thought that denoted a network entirely devoted to Gary Oldman, and I too was gravely disappointed. Specifically, we were trying to get out the youth vote and appeal to our skeptical fellow collegiate college classmates. (Also there was a $5,000 prize but who's counting right? Me. Panda Bowls add up.)
Well, in an upset more upsetting than Russ Feingold's loss, we lost the contest. Now I don't want to say that if our video had won the competition that the orange dude with the funny last name wouldn't be third in line for the presidency...so I'll just type it in a Huffington Post post instead. But, I have to give America a pass for failing the midterms last semester. Why? Firstly, because I did too (and I think we can blame parties for both). Secondly, I'm not registered to vote.
I know it's stupid not to be registered, I know most eligible people I know aren't registered, I know they don't talk about it, and I know it's stupid to talk about it on one of the most political places in the e-universe. A political junkie since I got my parents to vote for Bill Bradley in 3rd grade because I really liked the Knicks, I kept a "Deep Throat" file in a manila envelope and had been able to do what Vanity Fair did (identify him as Mark Felt under the stage name "Linda Lovelace") by the 7th grade. I campaigned on Super Tuesday for B. Hussein's victory and campaigned pretty much every year of both middle school and high school to serve in grade government (impeached in 2003 after being identified as "Client #10"). And yet, the only time I've voted was to give "five stars" on Dat Piff for Wiz Khalifa.
Don't get me wrong, I went on "Vote or Die" (meant to click on "Taylor Gang or Die") and downloaded the forms. I even got several pre-recorded phone calls from Adrian Grenier reminding me to send in those forms so I could vote. Despite being robotically called by a guy who became a famous actor on TV for playing a famous actor on TV, I just haven't gotten around to printing those forms. My printer's broken. So, I would have to ask a friend (too awkward) or go to the library (too far). If I printed, I'd have to find all my information and fill it out. If I completed, I would have to mail it. Since nobody sends letters anymore, I would have to go to a place reportedly called the "post office" and buy envelopes and stamps. If I sent, I would have to find out where to vote. If I knew, I would have to spend money on the T to get there. Maybe I'd be missing class. Or the vital sleeping I do when I don't have class. That was genuinely exhausting to write. Now imagine doing it.
Though I did want a pin, I didn't show up at the polls. Like everyone else, I hate most of the players. And the game. And the fact that it's a sport at all makes me very uneasy. But there's no excuse for being a spectator in a crumbling stadium, even if my participation only helps one kid in the crowd have an extra buck for a hot dog.
I remain haunted by one evening during one of Elie Wiesel's annual talks at BU, in which he told us how "neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim." Is it possible that my vote could have helped a victim? Is a lack of action actually action in service to the oppressor? Is sitting out inherently picking a side? Is my indifference making a difference?
It is time I squash the evil rumor that plagues my peers! We are not social net jerks, BMMing and sexting the world away. So, I will fill out my registration form. Tomorrow. I will print it, fill it, stamp it, and send it tomorrow. I will also exercise tomorrow. And start my diet tomorrow. Right after I Skype with my FB BFF on my webcam while Tweeting a LOL-able #FML on my iWhatever.