10/25/2012 10:02 am ET Updated Dec 25, 2012

The Power of Positive


I want to make this post a shout out to my beloved daughter-in-law Darlene. And along with her, I want to make it a shout out to all the people in this world who have some crummy circumstances and are choosing to make the very best of them that they are able.

Darlene has breast cancer.

While even just the thought of this disease frightens me to death, for the past year I've been watching her cope with this, fight it, and keep the best attitude about her life as anyone I know. Including many folks who have nothing so horrible going on with them.

Some people love to complain about their lives. And there are real difficulties that we all have to deal with. Poor health, certainly; losing or not being able to find a job; not winning the lottery even if you play it religiously (I'm joking). They love to complain about the little stuff, too -- the waiter served them last, it's raining on their day off, they are called for jury duty, their kid left a mess in the living room, they don't like the jacket their husband insists on wearing -- whatever. What they don't realize is that when they focus on these problems, whether the tiny incidental stuff, or the things that really do impact us in a more serious way, there's a ripple effect.

Our interactions with each other happen on several different levels at once. There's a physical interaction that we are usually aware of. There's a verbal interaction, which, again, we usually are aware of, but may not give as much importance to as we should (words have energy and they can affect us much longer than a momentary physical interaction). And there is an energetic interaction, which we might not be aware of at all, but ripples outward, either healing or damaging those around us.

It's a spiritual law that with our own behavior we always have a choice. When we choose to dwell on the things that are bothering us and choose to engage in anger, blaming, or complaining we are sending negative energy into our environment. This has a subtle yet cumulative affect on us, and on anyone near us. And it actually repels those around us. Whereas, when we choose to practice love and gratitude, we send out a healing energy that works on us, and all we come into contact with, and actually draws people to us. We've all seen this in action.

Which brings me back to Darlene.

When Darlene received her diagnosis, she made her choice -- and showed everyone what she is made of. She never asked, "Why me?" Right from the beginning, she decided that she was going to bring a positive outlook to her situation, to the very best of her ability. Her upbeat demeanor has touched so many -- friends, family, the doctors and nurses who cared for her, and just anyone she has come in contact with have all felt the healing energy of her choice. By her demonstrating courage and gratitude in a very challenging circumstance, she literally draws people to her. No one is avoiding her -- they are supporting her with cards, gifts, flowers, and meals, happy to help because of the flow of positive energy that surrounds her and comes back to all who are in contact with her.

The other day I visited Darlene. I was wearing a cute belt buckle I bought on a recent trip to Switzerland, in the shape of a Buddha. When she opened the door, Darlene greeted me with a big smile and a bald head, the result of the chemo. She said, "How do you like my Halloween costume? I'm going as the Buddha!" A bit of synchronicity, a wink from the Other Side, but all credit to this amazing lady, my daughter-in-law, for taking something many people would find upsetting and using it instead to be playful, joyful, and provide a laugh to others.

The Other Side wants us to be happy. We need to realize how much of this is completely up to us. We have the ability to make a choice in any circumstance whether to make things worse or better. Darlene is recovering very well; she will be here to see her grandchildren play. But she made her choice to be positive before any of that was clear, and knowing her as I do she would not have made a different choice even if she had known that her outcome would not be good.

Practice love and gratitude!
Keep a good attitude!

God bless you, every one!