THE BLOG
10/21/2014 12:52 pm ET Updated Dec 20, 2014

How to Love Yourself!

"Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives."
-- Louise L. Hay

Self-love is the core for our well-being and empowerment. It's our ability to create a life full of wonder and happiness. You may be reluctant to accept this because it requires taking full responsibility for your life, but happiness is dependent on you and no one else. It's time to look inward for your source of joy and satisfaction, and not that really hot but dumb struggling musician that moved in with you, eats all the pop-tarts, and has the nerve to leave the toilet seat up.

Self-love isn't just about getting a bikini wax before going on vacation or allowing yourself to sleep for 8 hours a night. Those are basic human rights if you ask me! Self-love is about making the relationship that we have with ourselves a number one priority. Boyfriends come and go, even some shady friends do too, but you will always be here. The quality of the relationship that we have with ourselves is what will help us get through tough times, see the bigger picture, enjoy the life we've been blessed to live, de-stress, live in pure present bliss, and fully accept ourselves.

"Loving yourself... does not mean being self-absorbed or narcissistic, or disregarding others. Rather it means welcoming yourself as the most honored guest in your own heart, a guest worthy of respect, a lovable companion." -- Margo Anand


Self-care
For the love of your chosen deity, get rid of all those granny panties and only don underwear that you would love for Mc.Steamy to see you in, you know, if that were ever to be a possibility. Not having to wear raggedy Ann underwear is a basic human right! You would be surprised at how much your confidence is catapulted when you're rocking a piece of silk between your butt cheeks.

Your body is a rockin', goddess temple. It has the ability to stop men dead in their tracks, wipe away all of their common sense and revert them back to their Neanderthal ways. Your temple can bring forth life, (and take it away if they piss you off enough) and withstand the lung crushing effects of a medieval torture device called, Spanx. Treat it exactly like the powerful women from our past used to do, and get your Cleopatra on and beautifying it from the inside out. Fuel it with only quality foods that are worthy of being in it. Choosing delicious, quality and vibrant foods will not only have you looking drop dead gorgeous, but feeling fan-freaking-tastic! You'll be full of health and life, radiance and brilliant energy.

Putting your needs before others
As early as childhood we are conditioned to be selfless. To think about others and always put them first. What a load of cow manure. Yes, it's important to care for others but this way of thinking is why many of us are sleep deprived, have aching bodies that yearn for expert masseur hands, the reason behind why we pump ourselves full of caffeine to get through the day, and why at the end of said day, we are so exhausted we barely have any energy left in us to even brush our teeth! Let's clarify something here; self-love and selfishness do NOT go hand in hand. They do not mean the same thing, nor do they compliment each other. Self-love does not mean, "I'm just gonna take care of me so you're on your own kid. You're four years old, you can handle life". Putting your needs before others means taking responsibility for your physical, mental and emotional well-being. The best thing you could do for others it to take care of you. The better you are cared for, the better you can serve those around you.

Say no. Say it right now, NO. No way, nope, nuh-uh, nay! We rather have a drugless childbirth than to have to tell someone no. And yet, that short, singular word has the power to create dread and resentment or sweet, sweet relief. Too often we let guilt, embarrassment or fear keep us from telling people, "no way José, you can move your own stuff" or, "no honey, you cannot come in and watch mommy pee". Life is so dang short, why spend your precious fleeting time on earth doing the things that make you cringe and contract. Your time on this planet should be spent doing the things that bring you joy and happiness. It's not selfish- it's selfless. When you begin to do more for others than you do for yourself, that's when the neglect begins. Suddenly, the to do list gets out of hand, the sleep gets cut, the overeating begins, the crappy mood ensures. Choose your health and well-being and say no.

Provide yourself with the same quality care that you do for others
If your dog,Sparky, gets a massage every month, his hair done every two, if he gets luxurious products and clean, pristine foods, shouldn't you as well? After all what has Sparky done to earn such wonderful care, besides lick his privates and consume his own feces? A better question yet, what haven't you done to earn such quality care? If people took care of themselves they way they do their pets, we would have less war more love, less worries more life, less stress more health. Care for your one and only vessel with the love it deserves. Not only will this lengthen your life span but it will sooth your soul. Your beautiful, deserving soul.

Accept yourself fully and entirely
How often do we mentally abuse ourselves for making mistakes? We constantly say things like, "I'm not good enough, look how much my thighs jiggle, I'm not smart enough, I'll never be like her" and so on and so forth. Your thoughts are powerful. If we can learn to put and end to these berating thoughts and truly utilize the power of self-love through positive thinking and complete acceptance, than we can consciously attract the abundance and happiness that we deserve to experience in our life. If you make a mistake, don't beat yourself up for it. Our human nature will never allow us to reach that unrealistic level of perfection that we put so much pressure on ourselves to achieve. Learn from your mistakes and then move on. If you begin to compare yourself to others, stop, and list all the wonderful things about you that provide value and service to this world. If you begin to judge yourself too harshly, think about the little girl inside you that you would never, ever treat so cruelly.

Girlfriend, you are amazing, you're exactly the way you were meant to be. If we all looked alike, acted the same; this world wouldn't be the magnificent place that it is. Our unique awesome personalities are what make us interesting. It's what creates relationships and connections with others. Its how we build communities and families. Accepting your perceived flaws and killer talents are a key, core fundamental to living a happier, hotter and healthier life. And you are so worth it.