04/11/2012 05:36 pm ET Updated Jun 11, 2012

Will the A-Hole Who Started the Neon Trend Please Stand Up?

Trends. Ah, yes.Trends are funny, you know. One person can start one. A designer, a celebrity, even an unsuspecting kid ... remember those Croc pin things?

Some trends are lovely. And some are so horrible I want to hunt down whichever asshole is the one who started them and ask them, "WTF were you thinking, dumbass?" For the love of God, why would you torture the rest of us for what seems like a never ending period of time? To name a few ... harem pants, shoulder pads, platform sneakers. Oh yeah, and Juicy anything. But, by and large, one of the worst looks ever is anything -- and truly I mean anything -- in NEON. Apparently, neon is having a moment and I cannot believe my eyes. Let's be clear, designing anything in neon isn't really design. It's styling and worse, it's sellout styling.

Remember those Body Glove bathing suits people used to wear? It was awful then, and it's worse now. It's worse because we should have learned from our mistakes. We should've learned that just like polyester suits and petticoats, some things are better left in bygone eras.

If you think I'm wrong or I'm just some cranky style blogger (I'm not), I dare you to find a woman in Paris or Milan walking down an elegant street rocking neon this spring. I assure you, you will not unless she's 19 or under. For the record, you are also not likely to find them wearing a pair of Uggs, thankyouverymuch. Just saying.

Another thing we are now seeing are colors formerly known as magenta, yellow and electric blue being called neon. Really? There is a difference, I promise. Dior makes a magenta bag; they won't have a neon line -- this I know for certain.

Now, while I can barely stomach the fashion trend missteps, where my wheels really come off the wagon are when such trends start making an appearance in home decor. Whoa! Stay in your lane, bitch! That's right. Neon anything in your home is tacky, not modern. Obnoxious and not even slightly quirky. It's a bad look overall. It won't make you cooler or more current or "in the know" -- it's just stupid, screams wannabe and it needs to go away.

If you're 15, you can wear neon. Barrettes, t-shirts, neon glow sneakers and such. If you're 17 you can decorate with neon in your bedroom. Maybe a frame for the "Keep Out" sign, you know? Totally adorbs, right? OMG!

Everyone else: sorry, you're just giving the rest of us a headache. I must go ring Anna Wintour and ask her if she's bringing a neon bathing suit to Palm Beach this weekend!


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