06/03/2011 11:23 am ET Updated Aug 03, 2011

Dating After Divorce: 5 Common Mistakes You Don't Even Know You're Making

The heartbreak healing process takes time, no doubt -- but at some point, if you remain hopeful, there comes a time when you'll finally decide you're ready to put yourself "back out there." Even if your heart isn't breaking, the mere process of divorce can be so exhausting that you'll think dating again is the last thing you'd ever want to do.

Regardless, though you may not think it now, there will be a day, no matter your age or situation, when you'll be sweaty-palmed, checking your hair in the mirror, and walking in to a restaurant or bar to meet someone new to see if there's potential for more.

You'd better be ready.

Our members at BounceBack are constantly asking for dating advice -- after a 5 or 10+ year marriage ends in divorce, many people understandably have lost touch with the dating world (FYI: men now ask women out via text message -- and that's presumably okay?) Many jump back into dating without knowing exactly what they are doing or what they are looking for, and many are making mistakes -- without even realizing it -- that may hurt their future relationship potential.

We sat down with dating expert Samantha Scholfield, author of Screw Cupid: A Sassy Girl's Guide to Picking Up Hot Guys and the upcoming Awkward: What to do when Life Makes You Cringe, and asked her to help us out. Below, Samantha identifies 5 common dating mistakes she sees people make, without knowing it, and what they can do to get themselves back in tip-top dating shape again.

Dating Mistakes

Courtney Stovall is the Co-Founder of, a community site and resource network dedicated to helping people find happiness after heartbreak. has helpful articles, community forums, and a place to share your heartbreak story, all focused on helping you heal from a breakup or divorce in the right way.

Samantha Scholfield is the author of the new book Awkward: What to Do When Life Makes You Cringe about awkward situations in love and life (available in June 2011), as well as the dating guide Screw Cupid: The Sassy Girl's Guide to Picking Up Hot Guys. Billed as a "considerably hipper author" than The Rules, she can usually be found writing about sex, love, life and relationships (and the potential awkwardness in all four) in the ubiquitous coffee shops of Seattle.