If you've found out that your so-called significant other actually wasn't single, but in fact married, cheating, and you were the "other person," we feel for you. When it comes to relationships, this is one of the more shocking things to find out and one of the more potentially emotionally destructive experiences around. You are hurt and left to answer unanswered questions, pick up the pieces, and all with a nice dose of heartbreak. It may not have meant anything to the cheater, but it meant something to you.
So, what do you do now? You may want to get revenge on your married ex, especially when it would be so easy to pick up the phone or flip on the computer and oust him or her by contacting the unassuming spouse and giving them the details of what you now realize is their affair. As much as you want this person to be found out and punished for their behavior, it's not the right move. It's hard to swallow, but you are better off, safer and smarter for staying away and letting this remain someone else's problem. It may be hard to realize this right away, but the real benefit to you is that it's not your problem anymore - enjoy that.
If we still haven't convinced you it's not a good idea to contact the spouse, here are a few additional reasons:
Ultimately, remember that you're better off moving onwards, upwards, and out of the hot mess of this other person's life and that much closer to finding the happiness that you deserve. Know that people who cheat are disloyal and not trustworthy and will continue to be that way. They will always be unsatisfied and bored with their current situation. They will do this again, so be thankful it won't be you and that you'll know to look out for this (and not put up with this) in the future.
Courtney Stovall is the Co-Founder of BounceBack.com, a community site and resource network dedicated to helping people find happiness after heartbreak. BounceBack.com has helpful articles, community forums, and a place to share your heartbreak story, all focused on helping you heal from a breakup or divorce in the right way.