12/13/2012 12:20 am ET Updated Feb 11, 2013

Why I Gave Up Chasing Goals

If you're miserable when you hit your target, then it's not really a victory. Personally, if I have to dumb down, tone it down, or amp it up to be more appealing to more people, then I'm not that interested.

I want to be thrilled. I want love to sit at the center of my business plan, at the center of my life. And that's what keeps me, well, centered. And that's the goal.

I want to feel good more than I want to check accomplishments off my list.

I want to feel good more than I want to please other people.

I want to feel good more than I need to look good.

All the goal-chasing I used to do, partly out of wanting to feel like a cool entrepreneur, was pecking away at my peace of mind and contributing to my already deeply-entrenched complex of never being enough. Big enough, loving enough, wealthy enough, strategic enough, evolved enough, popular enough.


Intentions and goals are tools for liberation. But when we use goal-chasing like a hammer, it can beat up on our self-esteem, relationships, and creativity.

The foundation of a good relationship with intentions and goals is keeping in mind that the primary aim of setting and working toward them is to feel the way you want to feel.

The Desire Map launched last week. It will turn your ambitions inside out.

For more by Danielle LaPorte, click here.

For more on emotional wellness, click here.