About a year ago I decided to found a Facebook movement named Today I Failed At, aiming at helping people destigmatize their failures and cash in on them. One thing I have learned by working on the concept of success and failure during this period of time is that each and everyone of us defines these very concepts through the lives of others.
Wherever I go, there I am, people tell themselves and instead of looking at this realization as an opportunity, they choose to render themselves their enemy. The fact is, no one really cares to truly invest in themselves. What they really want is to copy someone else's moves and wake up in someone else's body, mind and soul.
When talking about success and failure, no one really wants to transform themselves: they want to get rid of themselves and then be reborn - autonomous and merry in a new environment.
The first step in this self-abnegating act, is to wonder if the people you are trying to embody - the cooler, prettier, smarter, shinier versions of the human kind - like you. I have seen him but has he seen me? Does he like me? Does he identify with me in any way? When someone you want to live up to likes you, he allows for a link to be created between you. He allows for potential to blossom into ability.
When someone that is very fit likes you even though you look nothing like them, they make you feel a rush of probability. Since they like you, you might turn out to develop more things in common. Likeness, in this manner, allows Alikeness. If only my role model would notice me, then I could turn into them.
When talking about really succeeding, no one really wants to be left with just themselves. This is what I have come to realize through my experience.
So, if I were to give you a new piece of advice, a better piece of advice than everything I have suggested during my months of motivating action, that would be: don't ask yourself if you like you or not. Make yourself like you.
I am here to reassure you that there is no way of actually disposing of your former self and being adopted by a new existence. Everywhere you will go, you will take you with you. However obvious and mainstream, this statement remains indigestible to most of us. We all run from ourselves. We are trying to escape who we are. We are trying to break free by abandoning what we already have. We are willing to drop our past, exhaust our present and give in to our future.
Wherever you go, there you will be. If you were to trust me in helping you grow, I would make these simple yet empowering suggestions:
1.) Accept. Work with what you have instead of against it. Run to yourself- not from yourself.
2.) Redefine. Your body, mind and soul is no longer a barrier impeding your way to success. It is the means by which you will get to where you want to be.
3.) Appreciate. Acknowledge the plasticity of yourself. Be grateful for what allows you to evolve.
4.) Emerge. Step up from what holds you back, carry it on your back until it learns how to walk on its own and until it catches up with you.
5.) Make you like you
Dear friend, the only way to succeed is to succeed as a whole person. All of you tries, all of you perseveres and all of you crosses the finish line. Don't waste another minute in trying to take over another person's being. The moment you realize that you are all you have got: you are your tools, your compass, your leader and your end goal is the moment you really start growing. So don't try to find another way out. As Robert Frost put it, The best way out is always through. And don't give up on yourself. Work through yourself.