Dear Dwyane Wade, Lebron James, and that other guy who benefited from the timing of becoming a free agent more than any other player in the history of sports because he is now being referred to as a "superstar,"
You all used the term "sacrifice" to describe the "pay cuts" you'd be taking to play together as members of the Miami Heat, I suppose in some attempt to show us, basketball fans and celebrity fanatics alike, your sense of selflessness, your desire to strive for something greater than yourselves (an NBA championship) at the expense of your bottom line, reminding us that money really is not important in the big picture; what is important, you would have us believe, by uttering that word "sacrifice" over and over again, is chasing after what you love, at any expense.
Well, gentlemen, a hardy fuck you to all of you on behalf of the Miami Heat season ticket office staff and all the people who have actually been sacrificing in these hard times, struggling to find a job that pays a livable wage, or any job at all for that matter, while you put on shorts and tank tops every night and play a child's game for a price that, somewhere along the way in our grotesque human history, became so inflated that each and every one of us should be ashamed by it.
An idea: how about you actually sacrifice some of that money that you will never possibly spend and pay a year's salary for these 30 staffers who have become the latest collateral damage in this train wreck of an off season you have so joyously celebrated (the other collateral damage being the NBA's reputation as a sports league to actually take seriously and Lebron James' ability to ever be considered in the same camp as Jordan, given that he needs to surround himself with other "superstars" in order to "get it done" -- If you look up this action in the dictionary it comes as the definition to the word "unJordan-esque). Thirty staffers at, what, $30,000/year? That's $900,000. Divided by three, that's $300,000 each. A pittance, a drop in the bucket, nothing at all really for three young men making nearly $15 million dollars next year (James and Bosh are scheduled to make $14.5 million and Wade $14 million in 2010-11). Even if the former staffers made double my guess, we're not talking all that much money for you guys.
So, how about it gentlemen? In the toughest economic times since the Great Depression, when apparently everyone in the Heat organization besides presumably the players and owners has either taken pay cuts or been laid off, how about actually sacrificing and doing something to deflate those huge egos of yours for once?
Or, as will more likely be the case, just keep on dressing up in your tank tops and pretending that what you do means something; it must if you get paid so much for it, right? Don't worry, the rest of us will follow your lead, pretending right along with you, and using words like "sacrifice," "passion," and "heart" in the same sentences as your names. Because, well, we are all so far gone down this road of idiocy in this disproportionate world that we can't even see anything wrong with your making $15 million every year while the rest of us sit around talking about the best way to get the economy back on track and get people back to work.
Still, if you did decide to do this random act of kindness, think of the upside: You could probably get ESPN to do a two and a half hour tv special on it (One hour for Wade and Lebron, and a half hour for the other guy).
David, unfortunately still a fan of your stupid league