09/17/2013 06:45 pm ET Updated Nov 17, 2013

Why Lordes' Royals Is so Successful; A Brief Analysis

When a song written by a teenage girl from New Zealand, who's never even been to America, manages to top the Billboard Alternative charts for a record-breaking six straight weeks and counting, it causes one to wonder, "WTF?"

Why is a song, which, aside from a few finger snaps contains virtually no instruments at all, so popular at the moment?

The answer is easy: Kim Kardashian.

Granted, at this point there are dozens and dozens of' "Kim Kardashian's" infesting our daily media over-dosage, but for the purpose of this analysis, let's just say that it's all 'Kimmie's' fault. And, why shouldn't it be? She's gotten rich off turning women everywhere into greedy tramps.

99 percent of us are sick to death of the Reality-driven, empty-headed, boiler plate, lowest-common-denominator 'pop culture crap' that permeates -- not only the airwaves, but the television shows, movie theaters, social media sites, online news outlets, supermarket check-out stands, smart phone ads, urinal billboards, elevator and taxi screens, and just about every other place you turn your dizzy head these days.

The problem isn't the awful music or crappy T.V. shows. The problem is the message they're constantly sending:

"Look where being selfish, stupid, and materialistic has gotten me. I'm on T.V. and you're watching me!"

Whether it's a Kardashian, a "Housewife", or even more dangerous -- a Miley Cyrus -- selling the empty, vapid message of "Me, first!," flaunting the lifestyle of a 'Ho', and trying to incorporate catfights as the main form of acceptable communication between women, they are all lying. Not only to the public, but to themselves, as well.

And young, unassuming Lordes' message is proof that. Her message is, "We got it all wrong, people." It's a flat out rebuke of everything the media, in general, is doing its best to heap on your weary, financially-slash-sexually twisted head at the moment.

You don't need instruments or a huge production if the message rings true.

The bottom line is, when it's all said and done, there's no woman on earth, no matter how old, who doesn't prefer a quiet night at home, eating a pizza and watching a movie with the guy/gal they love, over clubbing and dropping ecstasy with a bunch of fake friends then puking in an alleyway with a shoe missing. Yeah, that's classy.

And, guys are no different. Despite our seemingly insatiable desire to bed a different girl every night, and the hard-fought effort we put in to wake up not remembering it, beneath our tough macho exterior lies a dude who wants to be accepted for who he is. Not for who he's supposed to be. And that's where the song's got it right. It just took a 16-year-old to say it.

A man and woman. A woman and a man. Or, man on man or woman on woman, etc. etc. Together, alone. This is the true meaning of life. Finger snaps and all.