11/13/2014 04:12 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

You Don't Have to Have Sex With Your Husband Every Night

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Have sex every night. That's Meg Conley's advice to married women in an article from three months ago that exploded all over my timeline three days ago. Talk about stamina! It sounds like a dream come true for men. 5 Reasons You Should Have Sex With Your Husband Every Night. Wowza. Easy to follow, totally logical advice coming from a woman who herself "grew up" and had typical marriage lulls, headaches, and unwanted baby weight after 16 years with her now-very-satisfied fella. This is the kind of article you hope your wife reads (but you know better than to send her). Maybe she'll be inspired. Maybe you'll get SEX. Every. Night.

What a f*cking nightmare.

Every night? NO. Every other night? Still no. I am a grown-up. Maybe this would have been awesome at a time in my life when no one wanted to have sex with me. Damn you, cruel irony! But, despite what you've heard, men don't always want it whenever we can get it. We're tired, too. We're busy. We're stressed. Those kids? Yeah, they're not just yours. We're also parenting the hell out of them and it is exhausting. Plus, how will we catch up on our backlog of DVR'd Walking Deads if we're getting our freak on every night?

I'm not saying you definitely shouldn't have a daily slap-and-tickle session with your partner. I don't know you. Why would I give you that kind of advice? This is probably a conversation you should have with the person you plan on slapping and tickling. If you're up for a nightly boning, and so is he, have at it! I can't imagine it would be bad for your marriage. I just don't think it's necessary. And, for me, it's not wanted. Am I saying I don't want it more than I'm getting it? Nope. Not saying that. But I am saying there are nights when I've yawned a, "maybe tomorrow, honey."

Trying to do the deed daily sounds like a job. And not the good kind. But, as parents, it's important to remember you're not just parents. You're the couple that spited a roommate by getting it on in her bed. You're the ones who "broke in" your friend's car when he was nice enough to lend it to you for your date. You're the weirdos who did all those weird things in all these really weird places. How did you never get caught? Life is more complicated now, but there are still times when you should remember when it wasn't. Not every night, but maybe like once a week?

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