The Norwegian Nobel Committee awarded this year's Nobel Peace Prize to U.S. President Barack Obama, citing "his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples," as well as his "work for a world without nuclear weapons."
However, it is rumored that the official citation, when held up to a light, actually
- Commends Obama for not being George W. Bush
- Commends the American people for rejecting the presidential candidate who, in the most important decision of his life, chose Sarah Palin to be his vice-presidential running mate
- Commends Obama for pledging to engage in the sort of global diplomacy that was considered the norm for presidents of both parties before the presidency of George W. Bush
- Expresses the hope that the award will make Obama feel guilty enough to turn his fine words into action.