06/28/2010 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Don't Be A Plastic Surgery Nightmare

The other night I was watching a scintillating, compelling show starring Dr. Drew Pinsky called Celebrity Rehab. It is about a bunch of F List celebrities like Dennis Rodman and Heidi Fleiss who are going through rehab.

Congratulations! You're going to fix your life. Really, though, the only reason why you're doing it on television is because you crave the spotlight and the attention, and because you are so insecure that you need people to be in your life in order to validate it.

I'll tell you this. If I were a drug addict or an alcoholic and needed to go to rehab, the last thing I'd want would be to have all my pain televised. That would be a complete annoyance to me.

That brings me to another annoyance of mine relating to plastic surgery. I'm sitting right now at lunch with one of my coaches, and we're talking about some of our upcoming seminars. At our seminars we teach people that in order to improve their dating life they have to change from the inside out. You have to embrace yourself and what you look like at all times.

Just as we're having that discussion, a 50ish year old woman comes walking by us. She was a total southern California woman.

Her lips looked like they were blown up by a grenade. They were lumpy in places. The upper lip was so big with so much Collagen that it looked like it belonged on an orangutan.

Her breasts were so high up on her chest that they were near her collarbone. You would have thought she was some kind of blowup doll. I mean, she was truly bizarre looking. The funny thing was that the guy who was walking with her was totally out of shape.

These women like this one we saw don't seem to want to age gracefully. Nothing is more beautiful to men than a woman who is aging gracefully.

The women who go and get plastic surgery from head to toe, from their lips to their breasts to their tummies, are not aging gracefully. And why are they doing it? Also, if you look at the men they are with, they are usually overweight and a lot older than the woman.

These women should really start working on themselves from the inside out. They should start to accept that their lips are not naturally the size of an orangutan's lips and that they don't have breasts the size of a Playboy Bunny.

Life is about accepting who you are from the inside first. Stop trying to always fix yourself. Also, don't fix yourself externally unless you are willing to fix yourself internally first.

Say a woman has a child and then doesn't like the way her breasts look after she breast feeds. Then I have no problem with her wanting to get better breasts, as long as she has really fixed her insides first.

Otherwise, all you've done is made a cosmetic change on the outside. It's like buying beautiful looking car that has a bad engine.

Look at Heidi Fleiss -- the ex Madam of Beverly Hills. Look at her lips. They look like they've been pumped up with Helium.

You need to start working on your insides. You need to start embracing yourself.

If only these people knew the way people look at them when they walk down the street. They look at them like a plastic surgery nightmare. They make comments about them and say, "Why is that person so insecure?"

Look at Joan Rivers. She looks like she stepped out of the show V. She doesn't even look like Joan Rivers anymore. She can't even smile.

Look at Demi Moore. Demi Moore doesn't even look like Demi Moore anymore. Put a picture of Demi Moore from ten years ago next to a current photo of her, and you wouldn't know it's the same person.

What type of role model is that to her children? "Hey kids, if you don't like the way you look, I'll give you $80,000 so you can get plastic surgery and re-do yourself. Forget about working on inner beauty. Just work on your outer beauty."

We are so caught up with outer beauty in this country. In what seems like every issue of Star Magazine, there are stories about stars who have given birth and are back in perfect shape in about three weeks. It's called plastic surgery and a tummy tuck.

It's time we embraced our insides. Whenever I'm coaching somebody to help them attract the opposite sex, the first thing I tell them to do is embrace every part of them on the outside, and learn how to embrace every part of them from the inside.

It's about becoming a stronger person who falls in love with themselves inside and outside -- not just on the outside. People who only love their outsides are very insecure. I know. I live in Los Angeles, the town that is full of the most insecure people in the world.