THE BLOG
02/24/2016 03:08 pm ET Updated Feb 22, 2017

Why You Should Not Have Sex Right Away

When is the right time to have sex?

It's a question I get asked on a regular basis.

When is the right time?

How about if I told you the right time is, when two people are truly connected with each other's minds to the point that they will have simultaneous orgasms... in their brains.

You have explosions in your mind. You adore one another and you have gotten off mentally and emotionally without physically touching one another yet. Or maybe you've kissed.

You see, when you have sex, it releases that scary love drug called oxytocin. It blinds you. The minute you have sex, all you can think about is the sex.

You stop talking and start fondling.

The second you have sex, the long conversations become shorter because you've released the love drug, oxytocin. It makes you feel attached to each other.
You released that physical addiction for one another and you stop listening to each other 100% because you've become sex addicts for each other.

That's why the sex in the first 90 days is always so animalistic.

What if you waited?

What if you didn't have sex right away? What if you waited and released another drug? A drug that is in your brains, because each of you can get high off one another.

When you release this drug, you get high off each other's thoughts. You get high off each other's feelings. You get high off the connection without touching one another.

Imagine what the sex will be like when you go down this road of waiting first. When you get to know one another and get high off being around each other.

Then you get so comfortable with one another that when you do have sex, it's the kind of sex we all desire. It's called soul sex.

Two souls making love because they have connected on a deep level, emotionally. Sex becomes the next phase in that connection. You made love through conversations before you made love physically.

By connecting through words, thoughts and emotions -- you're learning about each other and building the comfort and connection.

So the next time you want sex, hold off. Allow it to percolate. Allow it to reach a new level by connecting through words, stories, and learning about each other.

Imagine how things could be different.

I know it's something that I'm practicing in my life right now because I've always jumped into bed with somebody so quickly. Now, I'm allowing it to percolate.

I'm enjoying the process more because I'm seeing clearly the person who is being presented to me. I'm able to make a less clouded, drunken, sexual decision.

I'm able to really see someone and be okay with not having sex right away. I'm taking my time to get to know them, because I know that if we do decide to have sex, it will be all the more awesome.