08/09/2006 01:24 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

A New American Hero: Richard "Hog-sized Balls" Roeper

(with apologies to similarly big-balled Roger Ebert, previously misidentified as this review's author)

In his review of Oliver Stone's WTC, Richard offers to treat Ann Coulter to a free showing, as long as she sees it with the 9/11 spouses she says "revel[ed] in their status as celebrities" and "enjoy[ed] their husbands' deaths" and explains to them, face-to-face, why she made those notable quotes. He tags his offer comme ça:

"Of course, Coulter will never go for something like that. That would take character and humanity, and she's an unconscionable pig."

Then again, maybe it doesn't take hog-sized balls to call a pig a pig. Props to Richard anyway. (And Roger. What the hell.)