"I'm going to Disneyworld," the traditional said-to-camera line for the next morning's telly advert after a star US athlete wins the football Super Bowl is not an option, the Treasury's broke.
In a second evening of post tea-time events that would make retired US television game-show host Monty Hall of "Let's Make Deal" fame proud (duly noted that his first name is also part of a street gambling sleight-of-hand card game - Three Card Monty - which only a sucker plays because it cannot be won), Gordon Brown raised an ultimate middle finger to David as HE called the moment when HE would leave Number 10. That forced both Tories and LibDems to hurriedly bring to an end a marathon series of negotiations. Mr. Cameron had to then 'rush' (painfully slowly through traffic) to Buckingham Palace and answer affirmatively whether or not he thought he could form a government.
Gordon Brown's audacious power gambit of just 24-hours previous, ended in ashes as the LibDems cast their lot with polar opposites and both sides promised to govern from a different place. And where precisely is that place, Siberia? Now far left and far right will govern together? As Keith Olbermann of USA's MSNBC's Countdown said last night, "...what could possibly go wrong?"
Be careful what you wish for Mr. Cameron. You now have a paper "majority" but your back benchers are not as solicitous and collegial to the LibDems as you and Mr. Clegg are to each other. The same can be said for furious LibDem back-benchers now going against everything they and their party ever stood for and a constituency with mouths agape so widely flies have built condominiums inside.
We are entering a 'coalition summer' of unprecedented labour union discontent that will soon make the upcoming 20-days of British Airways cabin crew strikes starting next week and lasting through the spring bank holiday term break, look like a walk in the park.
Every union group expects someone ELSE to take a haircut, so if your travel plans include the UK this summer, expect delays and broken public services that would make even the Iron Lady, Baroness Thatcher cringe. David, if you think the flight attendants are tough, just wait until local Council and key agency staff get in this act. Think Greece without flamethrowers!
Here in Wales where 70% of the economy is in the Public Sector? Get your government dealings done this week, then pray, a lot! (Check your passport expiry date and drivers license whilst at it and consider renewing early!)
Ronald Reagan historically fired US air traffic controllers in 1981. The rubbish has not been picked up for a week in Amsterdam. Imagine that writ large in London? This new PM will be tested on so many fronts and govern in a "keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" coalition that even President Obama would love (NOT!). Imagine for a moment President Obama, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and House ML John Boehner forming a government coalition together? That's what we now have in the UK.
Mr. Cameron promises an election the 1st Thursday in May 2015. I'm waiting for betting parlour William Hill to open this morning to place the 1000:1 sucker bet odds that bet will most certainly have. The safer bet? 1st Thursday in October 2010.
It was an historic evening. As the youngest PM in almost 200 years, David Cameron solemnly and soberly accepted his new role then headed into a warm staff reception at Number 10 and a later, much more thunderous Conservative Party celebration in the House of Commons. Those moments will fade very quickly today.
Indeed he'd done what no one else had done in 31-years, deposed a sitting Labour PM and government. Now, in true be-careful-what-you-wish-for fashion, the sober reality of the job ahead will hit him square in the face starting today. Cabinet announcements are expected throughout the day and it will be weeks of very interesting moment-to-moment Kabuki theatre.
Welcome also UK media to the 24-hour news cycle and perpetual campaign. It was funny to watch exhausted commentators called into the studio live because of developments. They seemed genuinely perturbed to have to work around the clock to bring the public the news. The helicopter shot of the throng of overweight reporters and photographers gathered at the front door racing around the block to the back of Conservative Party HQ only to find that Mr. Cameron had already left for Buckingham Palace was hysterically funny to watch.
The truly fit caught up with him stuck in traffic jams and many citizens walked up to the side of the silver Jaguar with their cellphone cameras in hand to take photos. No security detail, police escort, streets closed and sirens blaring, Mr. Cameron waited for red lights to change and even the London cabbies would not give way!
He finally found his way to The Queen at Buckingham Palace. The trick now is to find the queen atop that rickety cardboard box in Whitehall as Tory and LibDem leaders shuffle cards back and forth at speed with our economy perched on the side of the table. Find the queen, where's the queen...
I love my job.