04/12/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

The Lost Art of Being a Lady


When one thinks of the word "lady" immediately the image of Audrey Hepburn appears. She's sophisticated, charming, and refined. Never would you see her appear on a salacious reality show like, "The Bad Girls Club." She is the antithesis of today's pop culture female icon that appears in homemade sex tapes and Girls Gone Wild videos. The lady is no longer en vogue. It is deemed as more attractive to be in the spotlight at whatever cost then to mind your manners; therefore, the lady is at risk of becoming extinct. The days of Jackie O. are over. So, let's reinvent the idea of who a lady is; she can be a rock and roll chick, a hipster, a college student, a socialite, a business woman or any other type of female. A lady is someone who carries herself with class, elegance, and respect for herself and others. We can throw away the white gloves and pill-box hat and create today's modern day lady.

On my talk show, "Cosmolicious with Diana," on Cosmo Radio Sirius XM, I posed a question to my female listeners, "Are there any ladies left?" Immediately, the phones lit up. I couldn't believe the reaction from the callers. Many women expressed their disdain of seeing women scantily clad, screaming profanities on television in a quest for the affection of Ray J, Bret Michaels, or Flava Flav. They seemed to be confused by these women's behavior. A caller from Florida said, "How do these girls think it's attractive to be showing T&A while slapping another girl in the face? Men don't want to bring that home to mom." On the other hand, several female callers felt it was their equal opportunity right to express themselves however they saw fit whether it was cursing, belching, or giving a lap dance in public. One caller from Iowa stated, "My boyfriend and I have burping contests at restaurants. He doesn't care. He thinks it's funny. Let people look." Yet, the majority of the calls were insisting we needed to bring back the art of being a lady.

In order to bring back the lady, we need to stop reinforcing the thought that being a lady means being less of an independent woman. We seem to forget that through certain actions like fist-fighting, screaming, and promiscuity we are perpetuating the misogynistic myth that being a today's woman means embracing your sexuality in a vulgar and explicit way, nor do we have to leave our etiquette at the door. As women we've fought so hard to get a membership in the Boy's Club but why do we have to adapt our behavior to that of a frat guy. Have you ever once gone on a date with a man who was crude and thought; "Now he's super attractive?" I'm guessing your shaking your head no. Well, the same goes for females. It doesn't take any energy to stop cursing and replace the infamous "F" word with something that can show off your more extensive vocabulary; that one little change can bring you much more respect. Or how about controlling your alcohol intake when on a date or with coworkers. It's true that liquor is a social lubricant but put the drink down before you're past the point of no return. It's not hot to be wall posting about your crazy out of control night once you exit college. Maybe these small edits seem trivial, yet the difference they make is tremendous. Your reputation is everything. Do you want to be remembered as the loud-mouth party girl when it comes time for that important job interview or the lady who can rise to any and all occasions?

We are in a new era; a time where change is happening. It's time for women to make a change. Let's recreate and revise our generation's vision of what a lady is.