01/19/2017 10:22 pm ET Updated Jan 20, 2018

On The Evening Of Change With A High Probability Of Disaster

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We are standing at the brink:
at the edge of a huge change
with a high probability of disaster.

Take heart, brothers and sisters!
For though they have tanks and guns
and we are not made of steel
we have one power they don't:
being in the right.

Plus, we know what arugula is.

So let us marshall our collective will.
Let us press further into the breach,
driven by wrath and desire to protect those
who can't fight for themselves.

And also so they don't take away Larry David.
He's kind of defenseless.

We must all show a willingness to keep calamity close
and transform fear and hatred,
like molten bronze spears beaten into plowshares
on some unforgettable fire.

And we must also never forget: it is morally wrong
for US soldiers to salute man who paid Russian hookers to pee on him,
while betraying our country for Russia.

We must all keep that fire alive inside ourselves
the fire of what is right
and find the sheer audacity to take possession
of what we all deserve, our freedom.

I'm talking to you, dude in the Prius.

This is the moment where the hammer meets the anvil.
In this cruel furnace, as stars throw down their spears,
nobody good goes gently.

And just think: when the revolution comes,
someone is going to get to kick Mike Pence in the balls.

With eyes that blaze like meteors.
even as we twist on racks and our sinews give way,
even strapped to a wheel,
we don't break.

(Unless it's gluten-free Pizza. We do break for that.)

The battle begins.

See you tomorrow, motherf*ckers.