12/30/2015 01:27 pm ET Updated Dec 30, 2016

9 New Year's Resolutions for the Newly Divorced

These New Year's resolutions are not to exercise more, eat healthier food, or drink less -- instead, they'll help you become the post-divorce person you deserve to be.

By Nicole Gussick for Divorce Magazine

The new year is a perfect time to reassess the previous year and set new goals. These resolutions are not to eat better or drink less; these will help you become the person you deserve to be. A divorce can rock your self-esteem and entire worldview. But, if you're diligent, you can turn this difficult experience of being a newly divorced into a life lesson and opportunity to change for the better.

1. Respect Your Ex

It may sound difficult, but it's a necessity. Treating your ex with kindness and respect will be better for you and your kids. This includes not speaking negatively of your ex in front of the kids. Call a friend if you need to vent.

2. Take the High Road

If you feel yourself being dragged into another argument, take a step back and be the bigger person. Realize that falling into this negativity is toxic and benefits no one.

3. Stop Over-Thinking

It's easy to obsess on what went wrong and why, but you know why. Leave it behind you and take the lessons learned forward.

4. Be Present

Living in the moment allows you to truly appreciate those around you. Focusing on the past can be depressing and focusing on the future can cause fear and anxiety. All that matters is how you spend your time with those you love.

5. Focus on You

The new year is an ideal time to focus on your needs and take time for yourself. Set some time aside to pursue a hobby or interest. Take a class that interests you. Focus on what makes you the happiest and do that!

6. Consider Dating

It would be easy to let the emotions get the best of you and hibernate. However, you must take stock of your self-esteem and make sure you are in a good place before taking the leap back into the dating pool.

7. Be Patient

Don't be too hard on yourself. If you need to cry, let yourself cry. Remember that this is a difficult transition and to be kind to yourself. But be sure not to wallow. It's a hard line to draw, but an important one to not cross.

8. Ask for Help

Utilize your support system: they want to help you! If you are feeling isolated or depressed, let your friends and family know. Tell them what you need from them, whether it's to simply listen or to be a companion.

9. Take Control

Of your finances, that is. Create a budget, analyze your retirement accounts, create an emergency fund, and take a look at your investments. Knowing what you have will help you make informed decisions throughout the new year.

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