12/20/2013 09:23 am ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

Rudolph the Duck Dynasty Reindeer

You know Kay and Si
Jase, Jep, and Willie,
John Luke, and Sadie
Korie, Reed and Missy
But do you recall
The most famous A&E star of all?

Rudolph, the Duck Dynasty reindeer
Was a homosexual
And when Phil Robertson saw him
He launched into a long, strident, rambling tirade:
"Rudolph, this is gross sexual immorality! You dishonor your body and degrade yourself. You are full of murder, envy, strife, and hatred. You are an insolent, arrogant God-hater. You are heartless, faithless, senseless, and ruthless. You invent ways of doing evil. You are going to die!"

All of the Duck Commanders
Quacked and agreed with Phil:
"His beliefs are grounded in the Bible
He is enacting God's will."

Then one foggy GQ interview
The Duck patriarch came to say,
"Rudolph, it is black and white
You should desire a vagina tonight."

Then how Fox News did love Phil
And with Jindal, Cruz and Palin did say,
"Rudolph the Duck Dynasty reindeer,
You are so f*#@*ing gaaaaaaaay!"