08/05/2013 03:52 pm ET Updated Oct 05, 2013

A Love Letter...

There is a bestseller called Tuesdays With Morrie. I had my Mondays with Lorie.
Morrie had ALS. So did Lorie.

In the book Mitch Albom spends time with his former professor Morrie each Tuesday. Each Monday I read to Lorie.

But not this Monday.

Lorie could no longer speak, laugh, eat or breathe. But she could still blink her beautiful eyes.

If you aren't familar with ALS (if you aren't God has blessed you) everything stops working but your brain. You are fully aware that you can't speak, laugh, eat or breathe.

Three of us were reading to Lorie. Three different books on three different days. One day Dean Koontz, another day Water For Elephants. And I was reading Gone Girl. It's a twisted little novel.

Lorie's husband would walk by and hear me reading... fuck this and fuck that... and then there would be a sex scene.

It's one of my favorite books. It's a must read. Just not a must read out loud to a friend with a husband and a teenage daughter nearby.

I would blush. Lorie would blink. I would laugh. She would smile with her eyes.

Me in a comfy chair. Lorie in her wheelchair.

When we finished reading the book two weeks ago I had an uneasy feeling.

We were deciding what to read next. I was thinking of Defending Jacob. Lorie's daughter Sadie suggested The Hunger Games..

But Lorie died.

She had suffered with ALS for five years.

Her doctor said she didn't give up the fight. She just ran out of bullets.

The morning she died I was in traffic.

I was pissed and impatient. Lorie was bravely and peacefully dying.

I was bitching. She was taking one last look at her family.

Her daughter Sadie is the same age as my son. Lorie and I took endless baby pictures of them. In some they are naked in the shower. In some they are dancing.

Sadie is an amazing dancer. Even when Lorie could no longer speak, eat, laugh or breathe she went to Sadie's recitals.

Lorie won't get to dance at Sadie's wedding.

But I know Lorie is out of that wheelchair.

And I think she is dancing....