11/20/2012 12:41 pm ET Updated Jan 20, 2013

Illinois GOP Unveils Hispanic Outreach Strategy

When you're a Republican in Illinois, sometimes all you can do is laugh. So here goes.

Illinois GOP Chair Pat Brady's Top 10 Ideas for Hispanic Outreach

10. "Fire Madigan" apparel line to be replaced with Mike Madigan Piñatas.

9. No, you still won't be able to vote for your state party leaders, but please enjoy unlimited trips to our new Build-Your-Own Nachos Bar.

8. We're this/close to locking-in Menudo reunion concert for Republican Day at the State Fair.

7. From this day forward, state central committee referred to as mis amigos.

6. Kirk Dillard legally changing name to Jesús.

5. Republican elephant to be replaced with scrappy yet lovable Chihuahua.

4. Outreach Gift Bag includes coupons for Chili's, DVD of the first season of The George Lopez Show, autographed Ricky Martin poster, and Dora the Explorer activity book.

3. Complimentary black helicopter rides with Jim Oberweis.

2. County GOP Lincoln Day Dinners now Fiestas de Presidente Lincoln.

1. All future money-funneling schemes to be denominated in pesos.

Doug Ibendahl is a Chicago Attorney and a former General Counsel of the Illinois Republican Party.