Let me get this straight.
This year, the Tournament of Roses Parade was not held on New Year's Day, because it fell on a Sunday, and Pasadena is one of the few towns in godless California where people still gather and worship.
So you had an ENTIRE DAY to sober up.
And STILL, you missed the Parade.
There was a time when I had high hopes for you, but those days are past.
However, I'm going to cover for you.
When your grandchildren (and let's face it, after a two day bender like you were on, even if you're not married, I have a feeling you've already taken the first step towards having grandchildren)....
Anyway...when those cute little bastards ask you what you did in the Great Class War, you can tell them you Occupied the Rose Parade. And how will you pull off this con?
Because you will know what Barack Obama, MItt Romney, Ron Paul, Halliburton, Walmart, Goldman Sachs, and Newt Gingrich all have in common.
Each had one of the Dozen Worst Rose Parade Floats of 2012.
And this video is the proof.
See more Doug's Dozen lists at www.dougsdozen.com.
And watch Doug"s Dozen videos on FunnyOrDie.