03/18/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Cheney's 12 Tips on Underwear Bombers

Cheney accuses Obama of making America less safe. This carries a lot of weight, since Cheney is the acknowledged master of this topic.

America's bravest draft-dodger explains how sometimes it becomes necessary to destroy the Constitution to save it. He's so smart, you wonder why he was never president ... oh, wait a sec, he was!

Why won't Obama listen to Cheney's words of wisdom, which worked out so well for Obama's predecessor?

You might think that even a bitter old war criminal with one foot in the grave would not stoop to telling America's foes that its president won't respond if attacked ... but that just proves you don't know Dick.