Doug's Dozen: 12 Things Curiosity May Have Found on Mars

News item: NASA scientists monitoring the Mars rover Curiosity hint at big news.

Oh, great. But they can't tell us what it is? We need a bigger hint, whether we're to invest in rocket ship company stock tomorrow, or sell our gold for guns, ammo and dried food as the Martians decide to pay us a little return visit?

Of course, it might not be Martians that is the big news. There are a number of possibilities.

And coincidentally, 12 is a number.

Doug's Dozen: 12 Things Curiosity May Have Found on Mars

1. Life (a magazine no longer publishing down here!)

2. A dead cat (cause, you know, Curiosity?)

3. Ray Bradbury, who successfully faked his own death

4. Signpost warning interstellar travelers to avoid dangerous planet coming up next

5. Life (a cereal that a Martian kid named MyKee likes)

6. Diamonds, dinosaurs and amazon women! (Unlikely, but wouldn't it be cool?)

7. Helpless beings whose one hope is that our robot will succumb to the metal-infecting bacteria that God in His wisdom placed upon Mars

8. Faded newspaper calling the idea that Global Drying could end life on Mars "a liberal hoax"

9. A race of men who rule their world, because they have never seen a woman

10. Message from Jodie Foster's intergalactic stalker

11. Life (a board game -- those are still played by Martians, because they never developed thumbs)

12. Colony of billionaires avoiding expiration of their Bush tax cut

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"You couldn't ask for a finer guide to the future - or the past - than Doug Molitor. Having so thoroughly enjoyed his 'Memoirs of a Time Traveler,' the next book I read is, without a doubt going to be his 'Memoirs of a Time Traveler' again."
-- Larry Gelbart (A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, TV's M*A*S*H, Tootsie.)