05/11/2012 03:27 pm ET Updated Jul 11, 2012

Mitt Romney's 12 Excuses for Why He Was a Bully (VIDEO Doug's Dozen)

He'll bet you $10,000 he wasn't a bully.

Oh, whatsa matter, you too chicken to bet?

Someone take your money, loser?

Hey, stop hitting yourself!

... Yeah, it wasn't a good day for Mitt when the news broke that when he was a high school senior, he and his gang had chased down a gay student, tackled him and sheared off his hair while he screamed for help and cried.

Mitt also repeatedly interrupted another gay student's responses in class with "Attagirl!"

Just when it seemed gays might be warming up to Mitt! At least, the ones with short-term memory problems who'd already forgotten that he fired gay advisor Richard Grenell a week ago for advising while under the influence of homosexuality.

And let's not forget Mitt's other hilarious prank, leading a blind teacher to walk into a closed-door. Revenge at last, Mr. Muckle!

Ann Romney was right -- her husband was a wild and crazy guy. Assuming we define "crazy" as "sociopathic."

But thank heaven, his current reputation as champion of the underdog proves that Mitt outgrew all that.

And he has a dozen explanations for his youthful indiscretions.

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