11/12/2014 09:51 am ET Updated Jan 12, 2015

Would You Date Yourself?

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I recently had a client who was working on attracting love into her life. As she lamented about her many relationship failures, a simple question kept presenting itself in my mind: Would you date yourself? What I mean by this is, would you be willing to date someone who is in the same place in life as you are? What if they were in the same physical or financial shape? Or how about someone with the same spiritual and political beliefs? Here is what your answer tells me about your relationship karma.

Hell to the no!

You would be surprised by how many people are repulsed by the idea of dating themselves. Friends and clients will quickly list the reasons that they wouldn't date someone in a similar position. They might say that they would only date someone:

  • More attractive
  • With a more established career
  • Younger
  • In better shape
  • Who has more money

If you answered no, there's a good chance that you're sabotaging passion and intimacy due to a lack of self-confidence. When dating, your energy is presenting the expectation that this person will support you emotionally, financially and spiritually. This will undoubtedly come across as needy and overwhelming, which is obviously not sexy. If you have attracted a partner in this state of mind, they will be more likely to foster a codependent relationship. A true relationship equal will want you to succeed in every area of life, not enable your insecurities.

On the outside you may feel taken care of, but what are the chances that you are holding each other back from your true potential? A healthy balanced relationship occurs when two spiritually whole people meet, connect, and ultimately inspire each other to be their very best.

Your perfect soul mate will not complete you, because you are already complete. Invest more energy in seeing your own greatness, because this sends out a signal to the world that you are desirable and self-confident! If you are in a relationship but there are issues, work on yourself rather than hoping the other person will change. They will be inspired as well, or risk losing you as you evolve.

Relationship Affirmation: I am whole, complete, and I'm a catch!

Why Yes I Would!

If you answered yes, then bravo! This is a sign that you're a self-confident person who is content. You recognize what you can offer to the planet, which attracts other people who are like this as well. Typically, someone who is willing to date himself or herself is living a full life. They aren't waiting for romance to take that trip, go salsa dancing or move forward in life.

The idea here is to live the life that you desire today! If you're dating, your energy will be seen as full of life, and you are the kind of person that people want to be around. Of course, you still have to get out there and find a compatible match. But you will be ready when your soul mate comes knocking.

If you're currently in a relationship, it is likely that you are enjoying more passion than those around you. You both inspire and encourage each other to reach your potential. Watching your significant other shine only makes you want to take better care of yourself. This doesn't mean that life is all sunshine and rainbows, but you understand that self-love and self-acceptance results in others seeing you as a complete being.

Affirmation: I am full of life and attract loving equals!