It is not fun to be motherless any day of the year.
Since we have officially begun the late-April through mid-May greeting card industry wind-up to M-Day, I thought it only fair to say a word on behalf of those for whom Mother's Day is actually Motherless Day.
I'm not talking about people whose mothers have tragically died. I know it's hard for them on Mother's Day, too. Right now, I'm specifically talking about the absence of having a true mother, one whose love and heart can be counted on.
Someone has to speak for these people, so I'm stepping in.
I have been professionally and personally privy to every imaginable mother-child relationship.
Any viewer of sitcoms knows the comedic downside/upside dramas of these relationships, (see Holland Taylor in Two and a Half Men) and yet...
There is a very real mother-child condition that is rarely mentioned on television or spoken of in our faux social conversation. That category is the one where the adult child is stone cold motherless even as the biological mother continues to be alive.
Oooooh, we don't want to go there, I hear your psyches say. There she goes again bringing up the unmentionable. Doesn't she know "it's all good"? (Cut immediately instead to pictures of Kim Kardashian freaking out in a beauty salon.)
But wait a minute.
I'll leave you with a puzzle, warning that more on this subject will come, and must.
Mothers are people.
Not all people who are biological mothers are up to the task of knowing that being a mother means fundamentally being connected in the heart with her child.
Not all mothers connect.
Hopefully, your mother is not mentally unwell or unable to love.
But if she is, I promise to revisit your plight in my future writing.
In the meantime, cultivate a funny sense of the absurd.
Celebrate Motherless Day by doing something positive, care-taking, soothing, or thrilling for yourself.
Remember, you are not alone.
Find and cultivate friendships with other motherless comrades.
You are all just part of a secret society within a world silly enough to hide the truth when it doesn't fit the myth of motherhood or Mother's Day promotions.
You've made it this far in your life, and it hasn't been easy.