Too often we take our partners for granted, and we do not do the little things that make them feel special, and know that they are important to us. I am a firm believer in telling your partner what you think is positive, special, and not keeping this to yourself. If you think your partner is doing a great job, tell them. If you appreciated something they have done, let them know. While it may be uncomfortable for some people to express emotions in this way, your partner is the one person that you should be able to do this with. They are also the most likely person to be appreciative and supportive of you sharing your thoughts in this manner. Here is a list of ways in which you can make your partner feel special:
1. Even though it is not what we should be focusing on, people love when we compliment something about their appearance. So, if they are wearing a nice new outfit, or a great scarf and shoes, if they got a new haircut, say something.
2. Let them know something that they have done that has made a difference in your life, or if it has made things easier for you. Letting them know that you appreciate them and the things they do for you is something important to do on a regular basis.
3. Encourage your partner's dreams. If they are on the fence about trying something or taking a big step, let them know that you believe in them, and think they can do it. Also, let them know that you will do whatever needs to be done to support them, and help make their dream happen.
4. If they do not take time for self-care, encourage them to do some. Let them know that while they have responsibilities, their well-being should be one as well. They do so much for you and your family, they should be sure to take care of themselves. Encouraging your partner to make this a priority may be just the reassurance they need to actually act on making time for self-care.
5. Make sure to tell others what a wonderful partner you have. While it may be hard to take a compliment, it is meaningful when their contributions and efforts are acknowledged in front of others who are important to you.
6. Listen to them when you can tell they are feeling down or need to get something off their chest. Give them your undivided attention so that they know they are the priority to you right now, and that you care about what is on their mind. Many times your partner is not asking you to do anything, they are just asking that you listen to them, as they need to get it out.
7. Learn to express mutual vulnerability. If your partner is willing to be open and vulnerable, be willing to be open in return. This lets them know that you are just as human, insecure, and afraid, and that you genuinely understand how they are feeling.
8. Offer to help them with some big project they are taking on that is a great deal of work, and will likely be overwhelming for them. They will appreciate that you made the offer, and that you want to ease their burden. It shows your love and support for them.
9. Give them a special gift. Put something you know they like in their nightstand drawer where they will find it. It will be a welcome and special surprise. It does not have to be anything major, just a gesture that you were thinking of them and wanted them to feel special.
10. Ask them to do something with just the two of you. Go for coffee, a drink, dinner. This lets them know they are a priority, and that is it important to you to spend quality time together outside the home, just the two of you.
There are so many other ways that you can show someone they are special and appreciated. Be creative, fun, and consistent in letting your partner know they are special to you. Think about what you would appreciate if the shoe was on the other foot. Every person wants to be acknowledged, cared about, and listened too. The more someone feels special and cared for, the more content they are in your relationship. Your partner will feel that they matter, and that their contributions are genuinely noticed and appreciated. They feel special, instead of just taken for granted. When we help to make our partner feel special, we are bettering their world. The kindnesses that we show them may mean the world to them and may be the bright and shining spot in a hard day.