02/09/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

The Coulter Guise

I watched Ann Coulter spew again yesterday morning on NBC's Today Show. I wonder why it is that she keeps coming back like an angry rash to the skin of my TV. As usual she had nothing to offer but sexy boots and hair color that once lived in a bottle. Don't get me wrong: I love strong, opinionated women. And men. For five years I was assistant to one of the most infamous political observers ever, Norman Mailer, who was merciless when he went after a politician or issue. The difference between Mailer and Coulter is that Mailer retained a logic of decency in even his most brutal observations--precision was always his objective. Coulter fires off fringe-sane statements peppered with sub-sophomoric humor that falls flat, smells up the room and bears little resemblance to anything accurate. Even devout Conservatives distance themselves when Coulter turns her breath into verbal bullets. That is, at the least, one reason to discount all she utters.

The people Ann Coulter is pandering to are simply stupid. Yes, to take a page from her own playbook about not being "politically correct" there are stupid, brainless people in this country--we all know this. They are Coulter's prime audience. However, she would likely want nothing to do with those disciples if suddenly she found herself in a crowd of them. It's my guess they don't wear knee high boots at 7 a.m., don't have glimmering teeth or a plump bank account like she does. Her target audience is her absolute opposite in the fashion sense and, clearly, from what one observes about her, that would make her squirm. She'd take their money but never associate with them, fraudulence in its worst form.

Coulter can be attacked on a surface level because she opened the door long ago; she thrives on quips about how people look. Recently she went after Michelle Obama for being a laughable Jackie Kennedy copycat in fake pearls. She writes of Barack Obama as "B. Hussein Obama," inferring that he's some kind of dark fiend we should fear. Why? To draw the attentions of the lowest common denominator (read racists, hate mongers and fools) with hopes they buy her book. It's excruciating to the mind to read her bogus intellectualism and debilitating to the soul to hear her churn out her "values."

NBC should never have bumped her yesterday because more viewers probably tuned in to Today this morning to see the fallout--and there she was! I'm sure a good many of her like-minded yahoos (see list above) discovered a new "blond goddess" that they never knew existed before and that's frightening. Haven't we had enough of this garbage, these life-denying rants swaddled in flimsy fact and titillating flippancy she keeps regurgitating?

I managed to sit through the entire interview Matt Lauer did with her. What message did I take away from it? That single mothers are the core of society's atrocities. Yup. According to The Gospel According to Ann, it all comes down to that. Then she tossed her #9 hair again, crossed her legs and flashed her fangs. Fade to black. Fade to black indeed...

I want to end by repeating that old adage that she has the right to say what she wants and I'm glad I live in a country where it can happen, but it pains me to do it. Yes, I'm pleased by that, and she should not be censored. Nonetheless, the broadcasts which feature her devalue our collective strive for advancement and in the end we have to work harder to reach the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, we often have to let time work its way to rid us of what is truly unspeakable. I can only hope the clock ticks quickly with regard to Ms. Coulter's appalling methods and world-view.