THE BLOG
10/03/2014 05:18 pm ET Updated Dec 03, 2014

Are You Shamelessly Self Promoting?

Still reeling and reverberating from the love that my article Why I'm Proud To Be A Total B*tch has been getting and then the complete surprise of the HuffPost Live piece that followed a day later. I have to admit, that although I've been on both sides of the microphone for more than 25 years, I was a wee bit nervous. Within a moment of being "on air," I literally felt like I was on air, walking on sunshine, dancing on clouds, having such a good time in conversation with Nancy Redd who is a delightful interviewer.

After that, I was off to the races with sharing the article and video on social media and to my email list. I have been what I call a PR Goddess and Networking Queen and what Malcolm Gladwell refers to in his book, The Tipping Point, a "connector." Over the years, I have used those skills to spread the word about people and causes I believe in, having no compunction about shouting from the rooftops, what's so great about these folks and their work. People have come to me to be their buzz agent, because they think I know everyone. When friends have told me that, I have said, "Not yet." The six degrees of separation concept sometimes narrows down to zero degrees, since I often do know someone who can get the job done. Call it an occupational hazard of being a social worker for so many years, who has developed a rolodex brain. I often refer to myself as a 'cosmic concierge' for that reason as well. Not even a twinge of guilt, hesitation or resistance in that role.

As I began to scatter my own good news, and friends jumped on the bandwagon with congrats and re-posts, I engaged in what my friend Chris Baeza refers to "as pissing on the fire," and dousing the flame lest it get out of control, offend someone, have them think I am "full of myself," "too big for my britches" or, heaven forbid, letting my ego run amok. My inner critic who I have to come to call Perfectionista, was looking over her reading glasses that were perched on the edge of her nose as she smirked, "If you and your writing are all that, then why aren't there more 'likes' and why hasn't it gone viral?" ad naseum. I see postings regularly that are salacious, critical, violent and negative and they go wild with many thousands of responses. I see articles that are poorly written, grammatically careless and they circulate more rapidly than what I pour heart and soul into.

Recently I had a revelation when I was considering why one of my intentions/goals is to interview Oprah and Ellen (not just be interviewed BY them). I attempted to justify my desire by saying that they are self made (with support) women, that they built their careers from the ground up, that they are, in many ways, where I want to be -- in a position to share love and encouragement for people to "live their best lives," because it would "look good on my resume," because it would prove that my writing and I are worthy of it, because it would up level my game. And then it occurred to me that I get to want to do it, JUST BECAUSE! I don't need to justify it. I don't need for it to be ego-less. As long as if it is for my Highest Good and the Highest Good of all concerned, I KNOW it will happen. No doubt.

From this posting on my Facebook page, friends have offered their encouragement and belief that it will occur like most other things I intend. One reminded me that I am already in the position to share love and encouragement and asked if it was about quantity. Sure, the more people I reach, the farther the ripples spread and the greater the impact. Another chimed in with her take that I don't need more validation, that I am already there. Both are meant to be boosts, but my initial reaction was to feel like I am somehow supposed to rest on my laurels. Ain't gonna happen. I am always climbing higher and moving forward, eager to see what opportunities present themselves on any given day.

I like the term "shameless self promotion," because it flies in the face of the standard teaching that self promotion, especially for people who do spiritual or healing work is a no-no. Humility and letting people come to you and then not expecting to get paid much if at all, is to considered a virtue among some circles. I remind those naysayers that my creditors expect to be paid too and the products and offerings of those who do service work are valuable and deserve appropriate compensation. One truth is that if you value what you do, then others are more likely to as well. If you know that what you do is worthwhile, why wouldn't you want people to avail themselves of it and create more fulfilling lives as a result? How will they know what wonderful gifts you have to offer, if you keep them locked in a dark cob-webby closet, not seeing the light of day?

Those of us who write for reputable, popular sites, such as the Huffington Post are scattering our words out into the blog-o-sphere and as such, are offering (free) gifts to the readers. I can obviously speak for myself and likely others who do what I do and say how much we appreciate the venues and ask that you help us in our quest to be shamelessly self promoting. If you like what we write, say so. If you feel a connection to the author, engage by writing a comment. If you see it as valuable, share it with your circles.

I invite, encourage, beckon, cajole, entice, seduce you to do this... or do I have to go all b*tch on you?