Life comes at us from all different angles. I know for me there are days where it's hard to tell if I'm going up or down and if I need to turn left or right. I find myself wondering if I'm sane or craaazy! We all have days like this. Sometimes the days turn into weeks or even months before we are able to ground ourselves and take a breath. This is life. It's life in the corporate world, it's life in the small business world, it's life in a world with kids and of course... it's life in the stay at home mom world.
My circumstances three years ago found me at home full-time with my kids. Essentially overnight I went from working a full-time job in downtown Toronto with a full-time live-in nanny at home, to not working at all and no nanny at all!
The first couple of months were fantastic. I had it all together and it was a breeze until, it wasn't anymore. Although spending time with my two daughters is my favorite thing to do, being with them all the time... IS NOT. To top it all off, when I wasn't with them I was doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and breaking down into tears in between. I didn't even recognize myself anymore. I had become a monster of sorts and I found myself asking... HOW DID I BECOME A HOUSEWIFE?!?!?!?!?
What I know for sure is that being a housewife is the most difficult job on the planet. When I say difficult I mean in every way, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I know so many moms that were working full-time before kids and after having a couple of babies they "didn't go back." How many are truly happy being housewives? It's a thankless job. People think "you do nothing all day" BUT, I can assure you, I was busier when I was a housewife then when I was working full-time.
What I know for sure is that I was not meant to be a stay at home mom. I don't care if it's the "fashionable" thing to do and I don't care if I am judged for not wanting to spend every second with my kids. I am a better person and a better mom when I work. I have a great deal of respect for women that choose to be stay at home moms and even more respect for those that actually keep it together doing so. It's an amazing thing to do but it's not for me. This I know for sure!
I used to tell myself I was selfish and I owe it to my girls to be here with them instead of working so I stuck it out a while longer. What I know for sure is that I owe it to my daughters to put myself first. The lesson I believe that comes along with this is more important than me making them lunch or picking them up from school everyday. I believe this teaches them to respect themselves and love themselves before loving anybody else. I believe this teaches them that as women they can do anything they set their hearts and minds to. Putting myself first by acknowledging that I like working outside of the home makes me a better mom, a better wife and a better person.
What I know for sure is that during the time I was a housewife, I was putting everyone else first which made me miserable, angry and tired. I really just wasn't cut out for the job.
What I know for sure is that whether you're a CEO, a small business owner, a mom juggling family and work or a stay at home mom, stop and ask yourself if you are putting yourself first and, stop and ask if you are truly happy. Of course, I don't mean putting yourself first in a selfish way. We all have responsibilities that come first but, instead of depleting ourselves for everyone else and not having any energy for "me" at the end of the day, carve some time out for yourself before you are depleted and miserable. Everyday, try to carve out a small amount of time to reflect on yourself and, I have no doubt that the outcome will be a beautiful one. Awareness is the key. Being aware of what truly brings you happiness and moving towards that exact feeling almost always bears a brighter outcome.
Until next time
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