11/18/2009 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Whatever Gets You Through the Night, or, Six Ways to Get to Sleep and Stay That Way!

Okay, so now we know that the size of the bailout so far is absolutely unprecedented in our history. Research shows that the current cost of bailout spending is equal to the inflation-adjusted cost of the Louisiana Purchase, NASA's Race to the Moon, the Korean War, the Iraq invasion and the Vietnam War...combined. Might even be closing in on Pat Field's shoe budget for the next SATC movie! Scary.

Fiat money being printed like Gutenberg gone mad and gold penetrating the inflation predicting resistance level of a thousand bucks an ounce while China shines its global domination boots. And then there's health care. Oh don't get me started on health care. I might then break a finger from typing with total ferocity and passion. And, well, being that I pay out of pocket for my policy, that trip to the local Doc in the Box would mean my premiums going up another gajillion dollars a month while the deductible doubles. So just don't get me started there alright?

Any wonder why we can't get to sleep at night?

Time to take back control.

  1. Clean up the clutter in your bedroom. All the clutter in your bedroom. Period. No ifs, ands or boxers that recently came off your butt about it, you will sleep more soundly if you clean up the mess. This sort of clutter, the kind that falls under the category of 'disorganzied' or 'untidy' represents stagnation on a mental level and scrambles the mind. Use that hamper your mother brought you.
  2. Sheets should be pastel. Bedding should be bland. Two pillows per person. No exceptions.
  3. Make sure that you have only soft or 'ying' colors, around the bedroom as well. No big, bold primary colors painted anywhere or on anything. Nope, no reds or oranges or even yellows allowed. Rather, try to use soft hues of blues and greens. Serenity and peace. In that order.
  4. On to a small cotton ball, shake three drops each of both lavender and chamomile essential oils. Long believed to be the Lunesta of Mother Nature's fragrant pharmacy, these two oils acting in combination with one another bring a new and different sort of scentual experience to the bedroom.
  5. Count your blessings. Really. It works. And, while you're at it, remember to say "thanks" too. Gratitude garners a whole lot bigger rewards than just a good night's sleep. And, well, what else do you have to do while you're waiting for the Sandman ?
  6. Lastly, don't forget that the last thing that you see and hear before you fall off to sleep at night (as well as the first thing you spy when you awake) holds tremendous influence and impact on your psyche and your subconscious. Put something inspirational in your line of sight and turn off the TV a full half hour earlier than you're used to. Soft colors, soft sheets, soft pillows, soft scents and soft thoughts. A good night's sleep might not be so hard to get after all.

Sweet dreams!